catfish // mgc

☼ t h i r t y - o n e ☼

/// IIIII'VE GOT A JET BLACK HEART AND THERE'S A HURRICANE UNDERNEATH IT TRYNA KEEP US APAAAART  (also there's an important author's note at the end tyty) ///

My desires in a relationship have changed in the past year.

I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me. I don't want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me. I need someone who will tell me how it really is and put me in my place. To keep my ass in check, y'know?

I need to be able to go 5 hours without talking to you without feeling lost or incomplete. I am complete without you, but with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together, but also help each other grow individually. Someone who can be my best friend.

And if you're lucky – I mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire fricken planet – the person you love decides to love you back.

Before she died, my grandmother used to always tell me that people need to be encouraged. People need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. People need to be believed in – told that they are brave, smart, and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream and more.

She also used to tell me that those who love you are not fooled by the mistakes you have made in the past or the dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly, your wholeness when you feel empty and broken, your innocence when you feel guilty, and your purpose when you're confused and lost.

To find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows that you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are. Someone who gives you their heart completely. Someone who wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing you with wrinkles and gray hair, but still falls for you over and over again.

I never understood what any of that meant until right now, when I was standing in the audience of thousands of screaming girls as Michael Clifford sang the same damn lines as in the video Calum sent me months ago.

"I'm wrapped around your finger, I'm wrapped around your finger, I'm wrapped around your fuckin' finger I'm still wrapped around your finger."

I watched him from Calum's side – a few rows back so Michael wouldn't see me – and I smiled hugely. Butterflies kept erupting in my stomach and my heart felt like it could explode at any given moment. He was right up there, only a few feet away from me.

I wanted him. This boy who, even after I lied to him, still looked past all my flaws and made me out to be this perfect person. The boy who made me feel whole again, who taught me that I am wonderful no matter what.

I love him.

I'm in love with him.

Wrapped around your finger was my all-time favorite song and I'd been dying to hear and see it live, and I was finally living the moment. I bounced around with the other girls around me, all of us screaming and singing along.

Cause god dammit, Michael had me wrapped around his finger, and his heart.

----

"I kind of want to do something special for him tomorrow night."

"Why not just tonight?" Ashton asked, his mouth full of vegemite covered toast. I shrugged.

"Jet lag is killing me. I haven't been able to plan anything out, y'know? I just want to sleep," I sighed, rolling over onto my stomach.

Ash and I hung out in Calum and Luke's room while they played FIFA with Michael in the other room.

"Yeah, I know exactly what that's like," Ash chuckled. "What do you have in mind?"

"Er, well," I rolled back over and sat up, running a hand through my freshly dyed black hair. "Kat found me a nice dress, so I guess I'll wear that. I wanted to cook for him but I'm not sure I'll be able to since we're in a hotel..."

"Maybe you guys could just go out to dinner," he suggested, scratching his scruff.

"I'm not sure how well that will go with it being so last minute and with him y'know, being famous."

Ash pursed his lips and nodded. "True. Mike's not big into that kind of thing anyway. He's more of a... 'it's the thought that counts' kind of guy."

I nodded, my brain already going to work. But Ash sighing dramatically caught my attention shortly after. I tilted my head to the side and offered him a small smile.

"It'll get easier," I reassured, already knowing what he was upset about. He gave me a weak smile in return.

"I keep telling her that. It makes me feel like shit cause I found someone who actually makes me happy, and I can't even have that it seems," he sighed, looking down at his lap and sniffling.

"People are hypocrites. They don't seem to understand that they're bullying her for her indirectly bullying people so long ago. I mean, if it makes you feel any better, I like her."

"Thanks," he giggled, running a hand through his hair. "The past is the past, just leave it there! It gets so frustrating."

"I know," I cooed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "It'll ease up soon."

"I hope so," he groaned. "Okay no more negative shit. Let's figure out what you're going to do tomorrow night."

////////

(a/n)

jet black heart is so fucking GOOD WOW WHO HURT MICHAEL CAUSE HE KEEPS MAKING ALL THESE MAZINGLY SAD SONG MY HEART HURTS

ok this was kind of a filler am sry I'm just so fucking tired from work wowee

so yes i added a little bit of bryana in here so to speak. please do not comment mean things if you don't like her, just keep that to yourself bc i want this to be a friendly, open, judgement free environment!!!

so I thought about it and I decided that I'm just gonna start taking questions for the character q&a and we'll see how it goes I guess idk YOU GUYS ARE SO GHOST-LIKE

tbh I just get comments demanding I update (which don't get me wrong, I love those cause they give me motivation to keep writing and they make me super happy) but GUYS TELL ME THINGS I'M NOSY AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOUR DAY IS GOING AND IF ANYTHING AMAZING OR BAD HAPPENED ETC ETC

so, leave your questions here:

mae:

michael:

ash:

cal:

luke:

me!!!:

and I will get the answers posted whenever a good amount of questions come in! :-)

don't be a silent reader!