My Own Way

Chapter 21

"I miss him." She confessed her voice barely above a whisper.

"What do you miss about him?" I asked being curious.

"His eyes, his smile, and the way he looked at me, the way he laughed at my stupid jokes…  I could tell him anything and it didn't matter what the subject was, he never judged me." She explained.  "I really liked him."

I passed my hands through my hair trying to think.  I had no idea what to say.  I wish I could tell her to talk to him but I wasn't sure it was a good idea and only God knows what Justin would say or do.

"Um...  I got nothing.  Anne, what do you want me to say?" I asked her.

"I don't know!" She said loudly.

Okay, that didn't help.

"There is nothing I can say or do that is going to help you right now.  You told me that you thought my life was perfect.  Well, now you know the truth and it's very far from being perfect." I told her.

"My dad said you have a boyfriend now." She said looking at me from the corner of her eye.

I smiled at that, of course he had to tell Anne.

"I'm not sure what we are." I said, being honest with her.

"You like him?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I do.  I like him a lot." I answered.

"What would you do if your parents said you couldn't see him anymore?" She asked.

"Well, number one I'm an adult…" I told her.

"I hate when people say that." She stated, cutting me off.

I chuckled a bit but when her eyes turned in my direction it wasn't so funny anymore.

"I hated that too but I never had friends growing up.  Sorry, I had one...Lisa.  I never had guy friends because I was terrified of them.  I didn't have a crush on a guy or daydream about them…I had nightmares.  When I became an adult and I moved out, I thought I was going to be free from my old life and my anxieties.  I had this little fairy tale that moving out would solve all my problems but guess what... it didn't.  My old life wasn't so old, it was very present and my nightmares just followed me to my new place and my new bed.  Being an adult doesn't solve every problem you have, they just get more intense and you can't blame other people for your decisions because they truly are your own.  So yeah, being an adult can be great but it can also be a big pain in the butt." I told her.

"I just want to be friends with him again.  I really thought he liked me." She said.

"Maybe he did...I don't know.  You need to give it time...and wait.  Continue with what you’re doing now and maybe later on you'll be friends again but with the right circumstance.  What he was doing wasn't right, using someone to get an advantage or to get information is the worst way to begin a friendship." I told her.