luke's pov *
he used me. he used me like a pawn in a chess game. i was just another little fuckbuddy. i doubt what he said even was the truth. i had lied to my mother how many times? but it turns out the big lie was the whole thing.
"i don't and i didn't mean shit to you! how could you do that? i don't love you! i don't even like you calum!" he stands up, wiping away a few tears. yes, tears. calum the tough senior boy was crying over me.
"you mean much more than shit to me. i was going to say how i didn't care and i wasted my time on you but the thing is i didn't. i valued every second we were together. mostly the parts where we kissed and we sat and talked."
"do i really though? are you in love with me or are you in love with the feeling of actually being in love for once?" while waiting for his response I peer through the closet window and try to make out the time. only 10 minutes til school ended. only 10 minutes until i had to face my mum.
"i'm in love with you. i love how shy you are until you are with me. i love the way you stutter when you get scared. i love your weird fifteen year old self. i love you. i made a gigantic mistake and i'm going to fix it."
"well, you have 8 minutes to fix it. i want you to know that i'm trying as hard as i can to believe the fact you really do love me and that it isn't just a cover up for the fact that you used me." he pills his hands out of his pockets and grabs my cheeks. he presses our lips together. i don't pull back. it feels different than all the other time he has kissed me. it feels like love.
"let me drive you home, babyboy. we can explain everything to your mum. you can tell her the truth as long as you tell her it was me. i don't want you to get in trouble. whatever she does, i still love you."
"i'm scared that she'll hit me calum. she's gonna be so mad that i'm gay. she's such a christian woman." he pulls me in really tight, squeezing me gently. i want to collapse in his embrace.
"i won't let her hurt you. i promise. luke, look at me." i lay my hands in his shoulders and look into his eyes. i had too many thoughts and emotions, so i say the thing i know calum wants to hear, even though i'm not sure i mean it.
"i love you calum."
