Star-Crossed ~ An ISITL Novel (On-Going)

18: In Silence

Pabagsak akong humiga sa kama. Alas-tres na nang madaling araw ayon sa alarm clock na nasa side table ko. Kinusot ko ang aking mga mata at inihilamos sa mukha ang aking mga kamay. Mukha akong tangang hindi mapigilang ngumiti.

I'm like an addict craving some forbidden drug. Imbes na iwasan ko siya ay mas lalo ko lamang nilululong ang sarili ko. I foolishly thought I flushed her out of my system, but seeing her again made me realize that I was deluding myself. Like a predator that caught scent of his prey, I followed her.

Stupid feelings. I was trained not to show emotions but she keeps on getting under my skin. I opened my palm computer and watched the unmoving green dot on the grid. I couldn't resist the temptation, not when I saw how he kissed her or held her hand.

It felt wrong.

I can't stand the sight of someone else touching her, whispering to her...

Calling her, his.

I could have stepped away so many times tonight but my logical mind is not functioning right now. I'll call it temporary insanity.

When I got into my car all I could think about was putting her on the radar. No he cannot have her, that's for certain. I just need to make sure that I plan this very well. I'm going to protect her even though at the end of this I may not have her either. I want to give her a chance to choose.

I don't want to be on the sidelines when I could have done something to prevent her ruin.

It wasn't easy losing her guards. I had to play hide and seek with them for a couple of rounds in BGC. Hindi na ako lumayo dahil alam kong iyon ang unang iisipin nila. Baka mamaya mas maging komplikado kung akalaing kinidnap ko si Maria. In the end, I had Icen hack into the CCTVs in the area and activate a scrambler so they can't communicate with each other.

I'm smiling like an idiot. Tch.

Inabot kami ng madaling araw sa viewing deck sa Antipolo, just looking at the view of the cityscape. I haven't felt this light-hearted since the last time we saw each other. Ang gaan ng loob ko sa kaniya na para bang matagal ko na siyang kilala ganoong hindi naman talaga kami magkakilala. Not in any real sense. It was just one day but the memory's burned inside of me; that time didn't matter in this instance.

I enjoyed listening to her chatter na para bang natatakot siyang maging awkward kami kapag tumigil siya sa pagsasalita.

She felt right in the circle of my arms. I've never really held any woman who is not from my family before. Hindi ako mahilig sa intimacy because I find it a burden. I'm not like Kuya Alfredo who would chase anything with panties on.

She seemed comfortable too, lying beside me as we watched the twinkling lights of the sleeping city and the distant stars. I wanted to prolong each second, but I saw her almost nodding off to sleep so I knew I had to bring her back to one of her family's numerous condo units.

Kinailangan kong pigilan ang sarili ko na iuwi na lang siya sa bahay. I know I'll be compromising my whole mission if I made our involvement obvious right now. It's still important to expose Tiu and capture Hernandez for questioning. Hindi ko puwedeng basta sundin ang gusto ko. My duty comes first.

"Ali..."

I was startled out of my musings when I heard her whisper clearly on my headset. I listened intently pero mukhang nakatulog na siyang muli. Is she dreaming about me? Buti na lang talaga at na-installan ko ng bugs ang unit niya na hindi niya alam. She thought I left at the lobby but I doubled back and went up using the service elevator para taniman ng bugs ang buong unit niya sans the bathroom dahil nag-sho-shower siya that time. I couldn't resist returning after I saw the azaleas blooming in the garden. The flowers looked like they were made for her.