Star-Crossed ~ An ISITL Novel (On-Going)

6: Alejandro

W/N: Very short update. Will expand this chapter when I go about the editing. Bear with me for now.

There is always a point in your childhood when you wished you were an only child. Being the youngest boy in my side of the family, I always felt like my brothers are out to make my life miserable.

May oras na gusto mo sanang makisali pero pinapaalis ka, may mga panahon na nakakabwisit dahil kinukuwento parati sa iba ang mga pinakanakakahiyang saglit ng buhay mo, at pinakamalala 'yong gagawin kang utusan o apprentice sa mga kalokohang balak nila.

Kaya laking pasalamat ko nang ipinanganak ang kapatid kong si Diosa. Hey, for the first time hindi na ako ang bunso.

Not.

I don't understand why, pero walang nagbago sa posisyon ko sa pamilya kahit hindi na ako ang bunso. Parati pa ring ako ang pinagdidiskitahan na asarin ni Kuya Albert, sinusungitan ni Kuya Alfredo at pinapangaralan ni Kuya Alphonse.

Tanging si Kuya Alejandro lang ang naiiba.

Akala ng ibang tao, ako ang pinaka-iba sa lahat ng magkakapatid dahil sa pagiging diagnosed ko as a genius. Ang hindi nila alam sa aming magkakapatid, si Kuya Alejandro ang may sariling mundo.

My brother Alejandro sees the world through his lenses. Bata pa lang kami mahilig na siya sa pictures. He was six when mom gave him his first camera. It was a disposable type that had twelve shots and real film that needed to be developed. Of the twelve shots that he took, only two were usable, but he was six... and the two shots from that first roll now sit as a mantle piece in our sala.

They were the only shots of Daddy and Mommy together... smiling at each other. Dad holding mom's hand. They didn't know she was already pregnant with Diosa.

Through the years he moved through different types of cameras, from the disposable ones, then to the point and shoot type. My mother I guess saw no harm in his hobby. She even encouraged him and bought him his first point and shoot camera for his seventh birthday. He got his first DSLR from Daddy for his twelfth birthday.

I find myself drawn to the quiet of my brother Alejandro. Iba siya sa ingay na natural na natural na kakabit nila Kuya Alfredo at Albert. Among the Zabala brothers, Kuya Andro seems to blend with the background. Siya yung tipo na wala laging pakialam; yung may sariling oras, standards, at beliefs. He dances to a tune that only he knows and understands, to the point that people accuse him of mediocrity. Kapag itinabi mo kasi siya sa amin, siya ang pinakasimple. Sakto lang. Sakto ang grades para hindi bumagsak. Sakto ang effort para hindi masabing hindi nag-participate. He is content being in the median.

And content he is. He is like serene waters. A depth that you wouldn't understand if you wouldn't dare plunge in. He uses the silence to capture the most precious of moments.

You only need to look at the pictures he has taken to know the beauty he sees. Tuwing malungkot ako, kumakatok ako sa pinto ni Kuya Alejandro and he would always be inside, tinkering with his lenses. He would let me soak in on the kaleidoscope of views and colors on the walls and ceiling of his room. There is always a splash of something new, hidden, lively, and hopeful in his pictures.

A clasped hand there... a smile here...

A gently blooming flower, the summer sky... dandelions in the setting sun...

Happiness captured in a single picture.

Nature is his muse. It wasn't really a surprise for me when he went home one day with his arm covered in a tribal tattoo that sent Yaya Maring to hysterics. It was so like Kuya Andro to do what he feels like. Nor the time that he painted Diosa like a beautiful nymph in a sea of flowers... and got an earful because we took all of Mommy's precious summer flowers.

He'd be gone for weeks on end. Sometimes magugulat na lang kami kasi nag-bike lang daw siya patungong Sagada where he'd take breathtaking photographs of cliffs half-hidden in mist, shots from almost impossible angles on top of trees, and caves illuminated by sparkling water.

We all know how to ride a bike but only Kuya Andro likes it more than he likes cars. Siya lang ang walang kotse sa magkakapatid. He was the one who bought Diosa's bike and he took it upon himself to teach her everyday. Iyon ang bonding moment nila. 

I have never seen Kuya Andro sad. Maybe because I was too caught up with my own hang-ups that I didn't really delve into any of my brother's personal hang-ups. Isa pa, hindi madaldal si kuya. We've even joked na hinigop lahat ni Kuya Albert lahat ng kadaldalan kaya naubos na ang para kay Kuya Andro. He'donly be mildly interested if you are interested in nature-tripping. Girls find him mysterious and he got his fair share of attention from them. I don't think I ever saw him court anyone. The girls flock to him, eager for adventure.Unfortunately, hindi uso kay kuya ang pa-baby. Ang tanging baby para sa kanya ay si Diosa. His relationships often fall apart because his girlfriends try to manipulate more of his time, or get jealous because he spends more time in the mountains than out shopping or trying out new restaurants. Kung girlfriend ka ni Kuya Andro, humanda kang umakyat ng bundok, umangkas sa bike, at gumulong sa putikan.

He was a free spirit in every sense of the word.

"Kuya, why don't you take photos of people?" I remember Diosa ask him once. We were sitting around a bonfire roasting marshmallows.

"What's the point of taking photos?" he counter asked and Diosa wrinkled her nose.

"To... remember?" she hazarded a guess.

"Good point." He smiled and pulled her to his lap. "What do you want to remember?"

"The good things I guess," she said sheepishly as she took a bite of smores. I pretended to be engrossed with my PSP while I listened to their conversation in secret.

"Yes. The good things," he agreed. "I only take photos of what is important." He murmured. "That means you, the family... and nature."

"For what is the beauty of the moment? What is one faceless person's smile to me? Gone in an ephemeral second. Memories that I have no wish to remember them by. They are like the wind; fierce, strong but passing. Just passing by. I can live with not capturing such memories."

"But you, baby, you are not just a fleeting moment. The family is all the people that I care to care for."

"Bakit mga girlfriends mo hindi importante? I don't see you taking photos of them." Kuya Alfred observed. My interest is piqued.

"If I find that one, and she captures my attention... then she would be a whole new world."

Little did I know what hand I'll play in finding that one. 

And it was taken all in his own sweet time.

***

Our family I guess is just like any other family. We have our own highs and lows and our own host of characters and nutcases. We are far from perfect, and we never claimed to be. Our strength comes from being able to come together where it really matters.

It was not an easy childhood but it was full. I pity the people who didn't have siblings. Sila man ang halos isumpa mo sa asar, pero sila rin ang hahanap-hanapin mo kung may nawawalang isa. Growing up was not growing apart for us. It was growing together and forming a more cohesive bond that no amount of distance or time can erase.

We are Zabala. Family is first.

Kahit pa matagal at gradual, we were able to stick together. I knew I was one hard-headed bastard but eventually natanggap ko rin and I grudgingly accepted our step siblings (that, and Diosa's threat that I wont be her favourite brother anymore). I was also proud of their achievements. It was liberating to let go of the pain.

Not that I'd admit it out loud. Bite me. 

------

W/N:

This is the last chapter of the Zabala's childhood days before we shift to another part of Alistair's life. Thank you to everyone who stuck by this story. Thank you for your support.