The hospital smells like a synthetic clean death. The florescent lights glared on the tile floors. As i waited I witnessed many very sick.. some upset as they are bored those waiting are sad yet impatient and mad. all emotions across the board. The wait for Nick is long and dreadful . I laugh to myself this is why they call us patients. Because we must be patient before anything ever gets done.
Hours has passed and there's still no news on Nick. His father keeps pacing up and down the waiting room and his mother sits outside the emergency room with a cup of coffee in hand.
If this is how everyone feels like, i never want to be the one in the emergency room causing this. How could Nick do this to this parents? How could he do this to me? how could he just leave me with the memory of his kiss? It isn't fair at all. But then again, i had tried to kill myself too. And the worst part is, i can't remember why. Did he like me before because we could relate to each other? Maybe now that i'm not suicidal anymore, he's given up on me?
He can't do this. He can't just make me love him and then leave. He will not leave me here alone. He has to fight this. He has to want to live. For me.
I remembered finding him in the tub.
I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream, i could hear my heart hammering in my chest it echoed in my head, i then realized that i was holding my breath, i eased the air out of my lungs slowly, then i see him there in the tub of water and blood oozing from his wrist. I realize what he had done and i screamed.
It's not a pleasant memory of Nick and i cling on to all the hope i have left that it wouldn't be the last memory i have of him.
