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Troye.

I sit in the studio flipping through pages of my song notebook I've been carrying around with me everywhere for the past year. Random lines fill the pages and some have become songs but there's still one page in particular that has yet to become one.

It doesn't have a title or anything, besides Connor written at the top. The lyrics are things that have happened in the past thirteen and a half months. I've been writing them down since February of 2014 and now, I sit here at the end of June 2015 rereading them again.

Buying e-cigarettes at the convenience store.
You don't have to say I love you to say I love you.
Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money, all I need is you.
We try staying up late but we both are light weights.
We're like two halves of one heart, we are.
We've been making shades of purple out of red or blue.

I read the random lines I have written over and over again before I look up at Emma.
"What is it Troye?" She asks and I beam at her.
"You don't have to say I love you to say I love you. Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons." I sing it and she writes it down quickly.

"Tro where did those lines come from?" Emma asks excited and I show her the page.
"Connor?" She asks and skims through the remainder of the lyrics, "Troye these are about Connor and you?" I nod at her question.

"'We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue'. Is that supposed to be sexual?" Emma asks me and I blush.
"Emma!" I exaggerate her name and she laughs.
"Well in order to make purple you would have to like-" She makes mashing motions with her hands and I drop my head onto the back of the couch.

"You've always gotta make things about my sex life?" She laughs.
"You guys have been dating for a year and two months! I assume you guys have...you know." I blush but sit up completely.
"Okay maybe we did have sex on Valentine's Day." I mumble and her eyes bug.
"I knew it!" She yells out and I feel my face grow even hotter. The blush grows up my neck until I'm sure I look like a tomato.

Emma casts a smile over at me as I write down what we just came up with so I won't forget.
"You really love him don't you?" I look up at Emma and nod my head.
"More than anything."

****

I walk into the apartment. It's different now, there's boxes littering the floor every so often. There are more pictures on the walls, more books on the shelves. More shoes by the door, and one more person.
"Troye babe? Is that you?" Connor asks from the bedroom.
"Yeah it is." I tell him and walk into the room.

"How was the studio today?"
"It was great. We worked on two songs and they're almost ready to be recorded." I tell him and sit down on the bed to take my shoes off. There's two pillows on each side of the queen bed and two laptops sitting on top. Connor is on his, presumably editing pictures.

Now in the corner by my keyboard, shelves hang and cameras rest on top of them. I take off my shoes and put them in the drawer built into the bed frame on my side of the bed. I flop down next to Connor on the mattress and look over at his screen.
"Are those pictures from your shoot?" I ask him and he nods.

"I've gotta edit them before I put them live on my page." He says and applies a color corrector onto a picture of me looking at the sunset. You can only see my silhouette against the sky.
"They're incredible." I say quietly at a loss of words as he shows me all of the edited pictures so far.

"Probably not as incredible as your music though." Connor says and I laugh.
"Mmm your pictures give me a run for my money." I assure him and rest my head on his shoulder. He looks over at me and kisses my forehead. I look at him and smile slightly before I put my hand on the back of his neck and kiss him.

He kisses me once for a short instance but pulls away.
"Do you wanna help me start dinner babe?" He asks and I get off the bed.
"Let's go!" I run outside of the bedroom and down the hallway, Connor trailing close behind me.

He catches up to me as I reach the kitchen and I open the refrigerator wide.
"Fish?" I ask and he nods. I take out the fresh swai we got at the grocery store the day before and set it on the counter. Connor goes to work on making steamed vegetables and pasta while I season the fish and get it in a pan to cook.

We work around each other in the kitchen and soon, dinner is ready. I get out two plates and hand one to Connor. He makes a plate for himself as I make one for me and we set them down on our kitchen table. Connor hands me a drink he made for me and he holds one for himself.

We sit down next to each other and Connor takes out his phone. He takes a picture of our food like he always does and we lift up our drinks to cheers.
"To the first dinner of hopefully many in our apartment." Connor says and I clink our glasses together.
"Our apartment. Has a nice ring to it."

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\
Forever wishing this would actually happen irl.
Xx,
Madi

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