Discovering Catwoman ▷ Stiles Stilinski [Book 2]

Chapter Thirty-Five>>

"I was fiddling with it, waiting for the bait when it accidently popped off and fell into the water. I knew that I couldn't swim but it didn't look too deep, I thought I could stand in it, so I put my pole to the side and slid into the water." My breath hitched as I remember the event in grave details. 

"It was too deep," I whispered, "I remember trying to jump up to get out, to get some air, to get back to the dock, to my family, to safety, but it was as if the water was pulling me in and soon I didn't have the strength to get back up. I stopped jumping taking one last big gulp of air before I went under."

One of my hands gripped the edges of the chair white-knuckled while I stared out the window at the willow tree outside the office. "Charlie said it was minutes but to me it felt like hours. I was so sure I was going to die that day. I remember the pain I felt as the oxygen couldn't get to my brain, the feeling as if my lungs were going to burst out of my chest and someone had started pushing needles into my head." A tear ran down my cheek. "I-I remember the emotional pain of not being able to see my family again, knowing that it was the-the last time I was ever going fishing with my dad, hanging with my brother, or baking with my mom. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. But then, right as I felt the last piece of hope leave my body, someone grabbed my arms and pulled me up onto the docks."

"I was fine after they got the water out of my lungs. Fine physically, but not emotionally nor mentally. I was scarred. I didn't go back into the water for four years because I was so afraid." 

I took my stare off the willow focusing it back on the guidance counselor. Staring into her eyes as he had been doing to me just minutes ago. "I know what it feels like to be vengeful, especially if someone would have pushed me in there, but it didn't give him the right to do what he did. He should have been locked up for the rest of his life getting help. Matt was sick, which isn't an excuse, but his childhood torment broke him. That's what people don't realize. When people are bullied or traumatized it stays with them. Sometimes it doesn't bother them as much as it does to others but they always remember it. For Matt, it was something he always took with him, something he always remembered. It was something he couldn't just walk away from especially since he didn't have help, his family thought he was developing asthma. But he didn't have asthma, he had nightmares and through his nightmares he created this situation. His fears brought the revenge which lead to all the deaths. So yes, I pity that he died the way he did, that he died in general, but I don't regret that he's not here, I regret the pain that his family has to feel because they were clueless and now they are missing their son, the son they knew before the accident."

She shuffled some papers around. "What do you think prompted Matt besides being vengeful? Why do you think he couldn't have gotten over it one his own?"

"Because sometimes the scars that are left on our hearts, are also left on our souls, slowly cracking and splitting the fragile object until there is nothing left and all we feel is darkness."

--

After my turn with Morrell it was Stiles's. I think he needed it more than I did; to talk to someone. The night after the accident Dad let me sleep over at his house, we didn't sleep though. Both of us laid awake in the bed staring at the ceiling, our hands adjoined above the covers, the events of the night playing through our heads. Matt's death playing through mine. 

I didn't tell Stiles I had seen it, I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't. It was as if every time I tried to tell someone about the situation my brain shut down and I couldn't utter a word.

I sat on the uncomfortable red chairs outside the office until he was done. I didn't care how many class periods I missed, I knew that when he got out I wanted to be right here waiting for him.