OPEN [boyxboy] ✓

twenty-six:: when you attempt to move on.

I wanted him, everywhere so we started at my lips, kissing slowly as his large hands rubbed my side, warming me slowly in the slightly-cold room. He was careful with just the right amount of assertion and I found myself falling further and further for Paul. I felt higher than I'd felt in sophomore year when Calum and I had first tried weed. I felt higher than ever and my heart was doing that weird vibrating thing... I just really liked Paul.

And I felt him stiffening as we kissed, my back arching slightly as his hands pinned my hips to the bed and before I knew it, he was grinding down against me.

My mouth opened but no sound escaped as Paul let out a soft groan, eyes shut tight as he rocked against me. He threw his head in the crook of my neck, kissing and biting at the skin there as I clutched the bedsheets, my head thrown back in pure ecstasy and somehow along the way, my nails had indented into his back.

All that was heard was a deep rumble in Paul's throat and then he was panting, "Dammit, Jules- shit. Right there, baby, right there."

I'm extremely ashamed to say I couldn't hold on after that.

My face contorted and my eyes screwed shut; I wasn't sure what sound came out of my mouth but it wasn't pleasant as I bit hard enough on my bottom lip, it bled slightly.

"Did you just-?" Paul questioned in disbelief after I'd came down from my high and I could feel my face on fire.

I nodded. "I came in my fucking underwear, laugh it up."

He didn't laugh, well, he did but it was a tiny chuckle as I threw my arm over my face. I couldn't hold it, he hadn't even came and I was so embarrassed, I felt like burying myself and never resurfacing.

I felt his hand on my arm, gently guiding it away from my face, "hey, hey... It's okay."

"It's not."

He only smiled at me, eyes brighter than my future. Tilting my chin up, he placed a small kiss on my lips, "It is."

I felt sticky and stupid and overall, annoyed at the fact that Paul hadn't done the same. Furrowing my brows, I attempted to voice my thoughts, "You didn't even..."

That was met by a wink as he pushed himself off the bed, grabbing his towel off the dresser and tossing it to me, "Well, I'm certainly not finishing in my underwear especially after a shower, Jules."

"Okay, yeah." That made a lot of sense and I was trying my best to maneuver myself off his bed without looking too phased by it.

"I mean, it's natural so don't be embarrassed or anything." He was still looking at me with those pretty brown eyes. Still almost fully naked, he stood so comfortably. "No one really lasts forever."

Leant against his dresser, he bit his lip to hide amusement and excitement still played in his eyes. The only thing putting me at ease was the excitement he couldn't hide.

"Shut up."

But my voice had cracked and I could see a bit of worry then. "I'm joking." Why that put me on edge, I didn't know but I hated the idea that I looked like a fucking kid.

Paul's smile softened, so had his eyes and he moved to put a shirt on, tugging a pair of shorts over thick thighs. "I promise, it's fine. It's not like we were gonna have sex or anything."