Just Once (Book 1 in the Just Once Series)

Chapter Eleven

“Brook, I’m sorry, I never meant for you to...” he started, but I pull away.

“Don’t touch me,” I said now, crossing my arms over my chest and holding myself away from him.

“Brook, please,” Jack whispered now, “you weren’t meant to see that,” he added and I turn to look at him, anger burning in my eyes.

“What, so seeing it makes a difference?” I spat now.

“No, I just,” he shook his head as he closed the distance between us, “I can’t get you out of my head,” he admitted softly and I want to hug him. I want to tell him I know what he feels, but I can’t.

“You stink of her,” I force the words out and he flinches back, “I feel sick,” I whispered now.

“Brook?”

“You make me feel sick,” I rip my arm from his touch, “am I just some sort of game to you? Is that it?” I laugh, but there’s no humour in my voice.

“Damn it to hell, Brook, you know I... you mean more to me than that,” he said now, but he kept his distance from me and it both calmed and pained me at the same time.

“I can smell her all over you... why don’t you just go fuck her and be done with it,” I snapped and he shakes his head.

“I don’t want her,” he muttered, before turning his back to me and walking over to kneel by the stream.

Cupping a hand full of water, he splashed his face and I suddenly realised what he was doing. He was washing her scent off.

·       

Jack’s POV:

Standing back up, my heart feeling as if it were breaking in two, I turn back to her.

She’s just standing there, looking so lost and scared. I want to reach out to her, but I know I can’t and it kills me.

Taking a few steps towards her, I look into her eyes and I can’t help but hate myself. Guilt heavy on my shoulders, but I deserve it.

I should never have kissed Katie, I should never have made that choice to use her, because I’d hurt the one person in this world who I’d never mean to cause harm to.

“I’m sorry,” my voice sounds rough, my words meaningless, I know because I know Brook. An apology is just words, meaningless, useless words.

She’d never trust me again, never be able to feel for me the way she had, I had screwed it up, and even though I should be somewhat glad that she might now be able to move on, I wasn’t.

Because if I was honest with myself, I was too selfish to want her to forget about me, I was a bastard because I wanted her to love me when I knew she never could, not after this.

“It’s none of my business who you choose to date,” she muttered softly, her voice breaking as she shrugged.

“That’s a lie right there and you know it,” I muttered and she looked at me her eyes beginning to burn with anger.

“Fine, then why? I mean, do you like her, like kissing her! After everything, why her?” she bit out.

“Because she was there! Because I was a fucking coward, but don’t you think for one second I liked it,” I snap now.

“You seemed to like it fine ten minutes ago,” she laughed in anger, in sarcasm as she breathed hard.

Did she really believe I wanted Katie? Did she truly think that when I was with Katie, I wasn’t thinking about her!?