Miss Me; When I'm Gone (editing)

CHAPTER 36 (Blair)

Blair

I took the spoon Owen handed me and dive into the caramel swirl ice cream with a vengeance. I needed depression food. I'd been in the dumps since tra is had left that morning. I could have gone with him. He'd asked me to.

If I had said yes, I would have lost him much sooner. He hadn't been with me long enough to really know me. He'd only gotten small doses of me. What about when the memories leaked through and I stood under he hot water of the shower screaming and scrubbing myself? He hadn't seen that. He would think I was crazy. Because I was sure I was.  Sometimes the last broke through, and when it did, I went a little crazy.
 
I kept all that from him. He knew what was on the surface, and not even all of that. He knew just enough. My past had marked me. It had ruined my ability to be close to anyone. Except Travis. I was letting him in. Today proved just how much.

"You want to talk about it? Or just ape at it out?" Owen asked with a pinched frown.

"Don't want to talk about it," I replied, and stuffed my face full of ice cream.

"The man came from California on a Tuesday night to get your money back from the wicked witch and make sure you were okay before heading back home the next day to work. Seems to me like you should be all smiles and giggles. Not pissy and trying to eat your way through this whole pint of ice cream."

I wasn't telling Owen. If I did, I'd have to tell him more, and I wasn't letting my past in. Not tonight.

"I just hate it when he leaves," I said instead.

"Mm-hmm, girl, so does the rest of the world. He's something to look at," Owen agreed.

That got a laugh out of me that died almost instantly. The girls in Fort Footprints didn't have to see him leave. He was there. With them. They could see and talk to him. He didn't have to fly over state borders to fix their problems.

"Wherever your head just went, bring it back, please," Owen said, pointing his spoon at me.

"The man flew his ass over here for you last night. He ain't giving anyone else nothing. Hell, I doubt he even smiles in California. He's smiling too much for you. He's gotta rest his sexy mouth sometime."

I laughed loudly. Owen sat back and smirked. He was pleased with himself. The sound of my phone ringing had him standing up and saluting me.

"That's your piece of hot California ass now. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I glanced down at the phone, expecting to see cowboy boots, but it was an unknown caller. I didn't let Owen know.

"Bye, Owen. And thank you," I called out.

He blew me a kiss and closed the door behind him. I waited a moment until he was away from the door before answering.

"Hello?"

"You think you have him, but you don't. He was fucking me before you, and he'll be fucking me after you."

I held the phone in my hand long after the woman had ended the call. An hour later, Travis called to tell me he was home safe but he was exhausted. He'd call me tomorrow.

The next morning, I refused to think about the strange phone call. It could have been a wrong number. She never said Travis' name. I shoved it aside and finally called Jessica Stephenson to set up a meeting with her for the next week about cleaning her house. Then I went to the store and payed my bills for the week.

I came back to the apartment and cleaned it from top to bottom. By the time I had to meet with Dr. Vaneoodson, I was better. I had gotten myself together, and I knew that when I called Travis that night, all would be well. I was just missing him. That was all this was.