The Incubus

Chapter 4, Scene 2

'And how are we doing today?' Doctor Taylor asked as they entered her office.

'Fine, thanks,' Justin answered for them both.

'Please, have a seat.'

The two of them sat down behind her huge wooden desk.

'Are you still taking your vitamins?' she asked.

Rebecca nodded.

'That's good. And you haven't experienced any problems like cramps, for instance?'

She shook her head.

The doctor wrote a few notes in a folder. 'The last time you were here we did the ultrasound scan and could see the Amniotic sac, right?'

'Yes,' Rebecca confirmed.

'Well, let's take a look and see if we can see the baby this time, shall we?'

Justin and Rebecca followed the doctor's lead and stood up. She directed Rebecca to another room where she had to swap her clothes for a hospital patient gown. When she was ready, the three of them went to the ultrasound room and Justin simply had to look at the massive painting against the wall again. He wondered if he would be able to paint like that if he ever picked up a brush and just ran with it. He chuckled to himself when the probability factor entered his mind: less than zero.

'All right,' the doctor said. 'Let's see what we have here.' Like before, she lubricated the long electric toothbrush-looking gadget and then turned to face the screen. Justin turned too, and after a few seconds, a black spot appeared on the screen. 'There we have the Amniotic sac,' the doctor said, almost in a tour guide-like tone of voice. She twisted her hand and a few seconds later, Justin could see what appeared to be a small finger shaped object inside the black spot area.

'Is that...?'

'That's the baby,' the doctor said and Justin squeezed Rebecca's hand. The doctor zoomed in and clicked on two separate ends of the floating finger. The computer immediately spat out and estimated age. 'Seven weeks and two days,' she said. 'Now let's find the heartbeat.' For what felt like an eternity the doctor twisted and turned. She zoomed into the image and zoomed out. She frowned. Then she zoomed back in and twisted some more.

'Is there...a problem?' Justin asked.

'There is a heartbeat,' the doctor said as she twisted her hand again. 'But it's very faint.'

Faint? What on earth does that mean? 'Uhm...faint?'

'At this age the heartbeat should be much stronger. Faster.'

Well check again! What am I paying you for? 'How much stronger...?'

The doctor pressed a button and the machine spat out a copy of the ultrasound screen. She repeated the process twice more. 'A lot,' she said. Then she told Rebecca to get dressed.

Justin's mind raced as he walked back to the doctor's desk. He sat down and the two of them waited in awkward silence until Rebecca returned.

'It's still too early to know anything for sure,' the doctor said once Rebecca joined them. 'So I want you to wait until the end of the weekend and come back on Monday morning so that we can see what's going on.'

'Exactly what is going on, Doctor?' Justin asked.

Doctor Taylor looked at him like a mother would when trying to explain something to a child. 'The heartbeat is not as strong as it should be,' she said. 'This isn't uncommon for some pregnancies at this stage.' She sighed and placed her one hand over the other. 'You have to realize that one third of all pregnancies end in miscarriage.'

Justin almost choked. Miscarriage? What are you talking about? Justin didn't speak his mind. He just stared at her blankly.

'But like I said; it's still a bit early to know for sure. Make the appointment for Monday, and we'll see if there has been an improvement over the weekend.'

'What are the chances for an...improvement?' Justin asked.

Rebecca swallowed hard. Her hands were shaking under the desk.

'Sometimes there is an improvement,' the doctor said. 'But I have to be honest and direct with you and tell you that most often the pregnancy is terminated.'

Terminated? Justin placed his hand reassuringly over Rebecca's. He wasn't sure how much reassuring he was doing though.

The doctor made some notes in the file and tore off one of the pictures and handed it to them. 'I will see you on Monday then.'

Both nodded. Both felt light-headed. They left the office and made an appointment with the receptionist. Then they walked back to the car in stunned silence. 'It'll be fine,' Justin finally said as he opened the door for Rebecca. He took her in his arms and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. 'Everything's going to be okay. You'll see.'

She merely nodded.

'We're going to get here on Monday and everything will be fine, okay?' His words sounded hollow, but he didn't care. He would say anything—even tell a white lie—if it made her feel better. In his gut he felt strangely conflicted. He was relieved, yet also somewhat sad at the prospect of potentially losing the baby. It felt as if the enormous responsibility of being a father was lifted from his shoulders and he felt slightly less suffocated by the thought.

Without saying a word, she got into the car. The drive home was silent and awkward. Both of them were tangled in thought and inner conflict. Both were in denial. Justin realized that this was going to be the longest weekend of his life.