Loving Her ~ Jerrie Thirlwards (DISCONTINUED)

7

The way her beautiful, crystal blue eyes shimmer in the light, and they way they darken when she gets protective or angry. The way they light up at the mention of the Mixers, myself, South Shields or her mam. Her luxurious, soft blonde hair that cascades so wonderfully down her back in waves, a few strands delicately resting on her her shoulders. The way the light can make glow, as if it was a luminous halo framing her face. Her little button nose, and the way it scrunched up when she was happy or disgusted. The way she twitched it from time to time. Her mouth, and the way it twitched into a smile, highlighting her face. Her smile, and the way it could light up an entire room, or cheer up someone sad. The way her little crooked tooth poked out, bringing a grin to my own face. Her pink lips, and the way they moved when she spoke. Her delicate, angelic voice, and it's wondrous tones filling my ears as she sang.

What is wrong with me... Perrie is completely straight, I can't fall for her.

I snapped myself out of my thoughts, frowning at my realization. Perrie was straight, and would most likely always be straight. I guess I'll just have to find someone else. I sighed loudly, opening my door and stepping into the main part of the bus, the Febreeze-scented air gracing my nostrils as I breathed it in. As I heard Leigh and Jesy talking on their side of the bus, I took the opportunity to go into Perrie's room, quietly shutting the door behind me.

"Pez, you in here?" I called out quietly.

"I'm just getting my clothes on love. Wouldn't want to see me naked now would ya?"

"Okay, I'll be on your bed."

As I sat down on the soft sheets of Perrie's bed, I noticed she left her phone out here. It was currently buzzing, notifying that someone was calling. I leaned over and looked at the Caller ID, my heart plummeting at the name.

Matthew 💗

I could accept that Perrie was straight, but I couldn't accept that Perrie was dating Matthew. That's what really stung. She was dating a douchebag who probably just wanted to use her, though I could be wrong. So many things could happen. He could be an alcoholic, he could be abusive, he could be an abusive alcoholic, he could use her for fame and pleasure, he could be a cheater, and the list goes on.

That was when I got the idea. I'd only just found out I had a crush on Perrie, but that didn't quite surprise me since I always had the feeling I had a crush on Jesy and Leigh-Anne as well. The only problem, I'm pretty sure they are most definitely both straight, AND they both have a boyfriend or fiancé. I don't want to date some random girl, and I don't want to date some random guy, but I also don't want to use Luke to get over someone. That would be playing with the feelings he has for me, and that is rude, immoral, and wrong.

Jade, you already know you won't find anyone. No one likes you.

I sighed softly before picking up Perrie's phone, fully aware that what I was about to do was wrong. I unlocked her phone and opened her messages app, clicking on the thread that said Matthew 💗.

As I scrolled through the messages, nothing stood out at first. I reread them, my thoughts staying on a specific conversation from before the fights.

Matthew 💗:
Hey babe, my mum called me earlier and told me she was flying me down to her house a day before your radio tour, so I'm going to have to rain check our date tonight.
11:34 am

Me:
Matty, that doesn't even make sense. Why would you have to rain check on our date tonight when our radio tour doesn't start for another three days?
Read 11:36 am

Matthew 💗:
I wanted to hang out with my friends a bit before I left. I'm sorry love, I really hate to do that to you.
11:38 am