.Hidden in chaos.

I m p r i s o n e d

My ears burn from the sound of tangled wires,
My translucent eyes reflecting off the glass like wildfires,
I desire to close my eyes,
And embrace the darkness, the light of which I despise;
I'm surrounded by a lifeless shadow.
There are many others around me, although
I still feel oh so alone,
My body filled with broken bones,
With my shattered lungs, I cannot draw a single breath,
My being settled in a circle of death;
If only I could make for an escape,
And steal away under a black cape,
My words in a collapse,
Perhaps,
If someone would loosen my strings,
Then maybe I could spread my wings;
I stare into the distance,
Hoping, that my resistance,
Would pay off for even a wink,
Never give in, is all I could think;
The sight of life seducing,
Reducing,
My heart to a pile of ash,
Causing my insides to clash,
Replacing the remains with an empty hole,
Tearing apart my soul,
How I long for a single tear to roll,
To feel truly whole;
I'm nervous, but not a single bead of sweat litters my mask,
Of what? You wouldn't even ask,
My mind lost in an endless cycle of stale routine,
My blank features reflecting off a murky window screen,
Stuck in a state of paralysis,
Searching. Hoping for a single flaw in my analysis;
Losing whatever shred of hope I once had in my restless cycle of life,
If not to wish for true life, then if only someone would throw the knife,
But to only see me suffer,
To make every passing day even tougher,
Rotten teeth turned up in a smirk,
Relentless eyes, all they do is lurk,
Bathing silently in my despair;
For just a moment I wish to feel air,
To slowly fill my lungs, and for graceful words to escalate off a page,
And yet I'm clawing through the bars of this internal cage,
Of which I can never break away,
People walk by, but nobody will ever stay,
To ever wish for something else, anything else, is but a dream,
My rage surrounding my thoughts in the form of a agonising scream;
Still my strings hold,
And my soul is sold,
They hold me,
My life is my fee,
To what I lost my humanity for I no longer know,
Was it for friend or foe?
I watch the memory simmer away before my eyes,
Burying itself deep in all my lies,
For I can no longer see the truth,
These countless years have sucked away my youth,
Slowly my memories are sapped away,
Was I always nothing more than a puppet caught astray?
Or was I once someone who could speak,
Before things became so bleak,
Did I once wonder the earth, hoping for something more?
Laying upon the empty shore,
Had I forgotten, who I once was?
Because,
I wasn't satisfied?
Did I collide,
With a fatal mistake?
One that I can never shake;
If only someone would see my pain,
Or am I just simply an ignored stain,
Worthy of being thrown away,
Or put forth upon display,
So you can watch my anguish,
So you can witness me grow languished,
Watch my selfish thoughts cross my face,
Make me feel like a huge disgrace.
I wish someone understood,
If only someone could,
to have a single person stand by my side would satisfy,
If only to say goodbye,
Even if my words would not reach,
My skin slowly becoming the colour of bleach,
To shut off all the voices and escape the prying eyes,
And finally reach my inevitable demise.
To most to disappear would be ones deepest fear,
I'd be better off wishing for something within my reach; my words are sincere,
But to me, you see,
I'd finally be free,
It's clear;
My happiness is near,
For it to all be gone would be but enough,
Go ahead call my bluff,
To whom ever I lost my life to,
I'm sorry, this is what I must do,
I have one last request,
Do not forget, like I did, keep me buried deep within your breast,
I have longed for this end for many a decade,
Do not be afraid,
Please do not feel betrayed,
My body decayed,
This truly is the end,
If my words fall upon your ears, goodbye my dear friend;
I won't leave this place without my defiant smile,
Which would not stay grounded in exile,
I hope the passing people will gaze up my eternal peace,
As I cease,
To exist from this living, breathing human world.