Strong [h.s]

Down the Rabbit Hole

I s i s

     "What do you want to do today, Miss Sparrow?"

     I groan, rolling my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Sleep, sleep, and more sleep." It's been nearly a week since our trip to the hospital, and I still feel like I haven't caught up on rest. 

     "Oh, but that's no fun!" Harry exclaims, tossing a pillow at me. I barely react in time to catch it before it hits my face, and proceed to place it back on the chair so Randie doesn't learn from Harry's example.

     "I need coffee," I mutter, turning away from Harry's goofy smile. I'm doing my best to keep myself acting normal around him, even though every move he makes is now analyzed in my mind in an entirely new way. Instead of just being watchful, I'm now paranoid about whether or not he's flirting with me. I keep replaying that moment outside of the hopsital in my mind, wondering what I would've said if he hadn't stopped me.

     Do I love him? I ask myself as I lift myself onto my toes to retreive a coffee mug.I look back into the living room, where Harry's lying on the floor and lifting Randie into the air on his feet. I definitely feel something for him, but I don't think it's gotten to the point of loving him. Just the fact that I'm having to ask myself if I love him tells me that I don't.

     I pour the dark liquid into the ceramic mug and lift it to my nose to breathe in the sharp scent. It's difficult not to treat him differently, especially when he wraps his arms around me at night and pulls me in close. I've considered going back to my room instead of his, but the thought of lying there knowing he's right on the other side of the wall is enough to keep me coming back.

     I'm startled by hands gently gripping my shoulders from behind and a few drops of coffee spill over the edge of the mug, onto my thumb. I choose to ignore it at the moment and turn my attention onto Harry, who's brushing my hair over one shoulder so he can rest his chin on the other.

     "Are you okay?" He asks against my ear, sending goosebumps over my skin.

     "Why wouldn't I be?" I respond, silently praying that my facade of strength isn't see-through.

     But of course, this is Harry we're talking about, and he reads me like a book. The mug is lifted out of my hands and placed on the counter just before Harry suddenly pulls me around to face him.

     "I know I surprised you with what I said at the hospital-- about loving you. I meant it, I meant every word. I just didn't mean for it to come out yet. I was afraid that you were going to leave, and all of my common sense flew out the window."

     Looking into his jade-green eyes, I realize that he's still scared. He's still afraid that I'm going to walk out with Randie. "Surprise is a bit of an understatement," I say, watching his worried expression. "I had no idea, and I feel so. . . Stupid for not seeing it. It makes so much sense, though, so many things make sense now." 

     "Things like what?" Harry asks as I slip from my spot between him and the counter. 

     I walk across the kitchen, pushing my hair straight back and glancing into the living room where Randie sits, coloring. I breathe in deeply. "Just everything, Harry, why you offered for Randie and I to stay here-"

     "I did that because you needed a place to stay and I had room," Harry interrupts, crossing his arms over his chest. A flicker of doubt in his confident eyes tells me that his reason wasn't the only one.

     "And the way you'd always compliment me whenever you saw me, I should have known that it wasn't just you being friendly. The birthday presents, the Christmas gifts, the feedback on any videos I put up of my music." At Aiden's funeral, he was the one who stuck by my side the entire time and made sure I was okay, but I'm not about to bring that up.