Oh, How I Hate The Word MATE

Gummy Bear Murderer

  CHAPTER:18: GUMMY BEAR MURDERER

  Tyler's P.O.V

   For the past two weeks me and Mason have been going out frequently. He eventually found out I shifted, which made him more possessive. He even showed his possessiveness on some guy by punching him in the face and breaking his nose. The poor guy only bumped into me, helping me up and holding onto me second too long for Mason. I thought it was hilarious on how jealous Mason could be.

   On this fine morning, I was unusually hyper and happy. So I decided to make breakfast. While singing.

  "To the windoooow, to the wall! (to the wall) To the sweat drip down my balls! All these bitches crawl! All skeet skeet skeet skeet sk-"

 "What the hell are you doing?" Liam asks through the kitchen doorway. He wore nothing but boxers and looked really tired.

  "Making breakfast. Duh!" Isn't it obvious? I AM standing over the stove making eggs and bacon. Heh, heh. Eggs and bacon.

  Eggs and bacon, eggs and bacon, eggs and bacon, eggs and bacon, eggs and bacon, eggs and bacon, eggs and bacon, eggs and-

  "Why?" Liam broke me out of my thought of eggs and bacon. 

  Heh, heh. Eggs and bacon. 

  "OH! By the way, we are out of eggs," I said.

  "Alright, we'll go get some eggs from the store."

  "Nooooo. I like my eggs fresh."

  "What do you mean?"

  (Two Hours Later)

  "Did we seriously have to drive all the way to a farm to get some eggs?" Liam asks as we pulled up in front of a barn.

  "Yep. I want my eggs to be straight from the chickens. Besides, I can get this stuff for free by manipulating that farm guy who lives here," I say as I get out of the car.  That reminds me. What was his name again. Let's see...plank...stank...bank...rank...OH that's it! Hank.

  Just as we got to the porch, Hank threw the door open. He looked the same as last time. Crooked teeth, bad breath, and still single. Poor guy. He hasn't been able to get laid since he was 17. He's 47 now.

 "TYLER!! It's been so long!" Hank exclaimed. He lifted me off the ground and hugged me tightly. Then, he let go and looked at Liam skeptically.

  "Who is this?" he said, still looking at Liam.

  "My attorney," I said without hesitation. Liam sent me a dirty look but I shrugged it off.

  "Do you even know what an attorney is?" he whispers in my ear. I actually I do.  It means...attorney. Okay I have no idea what an attorney is. What is an attorney?

  "No but just play along!" I whisper back. Liam rolls his eyes.

  "Oh really?" Hank says, oblivious to our little conversation. "Well, nice to meet you sir!" God, he is so dense.

  "You too," Liam said. Hank and Liam went off on a conversation about guy stuff so I slipped away to the barn where the chickens are. Eggs here I come!

  The average chicken must really hate Tylers because whenever I try and go for the eggs, it pecks me away. This will be harder than I thought.