Oh, How I Hate The Word MATE

SOMETHING!!

CHAPTER WHATEVER:  

CHAPTER MY BRIAN IS FRIED THAT I AM JUST GETTING BACK TO WRITING AFTER DISSAPOINTING YOU ALL FOR SO LONG!!

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER oh forget it just read

Tyler's pov

I am currently on top of a car with my feet duct taped to the roof while Ally drives well over the speed limit.

"WHOOHOOOO!!!!!"

Lets face it, you're probably not even surprised by this now

"THIS IS AWESOME!"

I mean come on, you all know I would have done this sooner or later.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY-"

School was too depressing for me. Ally and I cut and decided to have fun for once.

"I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYY-"

We stole this car by the way.

"I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT AND DAY!!"

I think we just ran over a bird

" SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY AWAY!!!!"

"We're gonna get in serious trouble!!!!" Ally hollered from the drivers seat. Eyes on the road woman! Gosh. Such a reckless driver.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH I AM FLYING HERE "

Can't she just let me fulfill my dreams for once? Why does she have to be a dream killer? Huh Ally? Why are you such a dream killer?

SCREEECH

All of a sudden the car jolted to a stop. The tape on my feet came clean off and I went flying - literally this time - forward. Straight into the dirtiest, smelliest, and nastiest dumpsters I have ever been in.

And in that small moment, I felt like a basketball going in for that winning shot at the end of a close game. It was a lot painful than I thought it would be. But then again, I'm not a basketball and the dumpster isn't a hoop. Whatever. Humph. Basketballs always get the glory.

Suddenly, Ally's oh so gorgeous face popped up from the edge of the dumpster.

"Are-are you ok?!?!" She manages to stutter out from her hysterical laughter.

Oh yes Ally I'm fine. I only just FLEW OFF A FREAKING CAR GOING 100 MILES PER HOUR INTO A DISGUSTING DUMPSTER THAT PROBABLY HAS AIDS. I feel violated in here.

"Thanks for WARNING ME!" I shouted. Really, who stops a car so randomly and conveniently in front of a dumpster? One which I might add is the home of a caveman-looking homeless person that I am currently sitting on.

And he's pretty damn comfortable too.

"BWAHAHAHA!! I....a-am so...sorry!!" She chokes out. Yeah yeah yeah. Laugh it up! But don't be so shocked when you suddenly find yourself with your head half shaved then colored in with sharpie marker! Paybacks a bitch!!

My hands gripped the ledge as I climbed my way out of the disgusting heap of diseases that probably doctors don't even know about. Swinging my legs over one at a time, I misjudged the distance to the ground and ended up landing flat on my back. Oh my freaking god do you know how much that hurt? I think I just broke back! Ow! I never knew the ground could be so hard. Jesus Christ! Who decided to have incredibly hard concrete ground here?! Because they are incredibly retarded. They should have known that I would have been around here and that I would have done something stupid. I need to speak with their manager. I'll give home a piece of my mind about making such hard grounds! Humph.

"Ow! Mother-flabbily ducking pineapple shit-nuggety fuckety fluck fuck! That hurt!"

My so called friend lost it there. She doubled over in hysterical laughter as I mend to my pain. Gee thanks for helping me out of the dumpster!! And THANKS FOR PUTTING ME THERE!

Oh god. I feel something slimy down between the valley of my female balls. Gross. Ew. No. Don't look. No. Plug your nose. Don't do it. Don't do it! Godammit fine look. I looked down to see a chunk of what looked like moldy cheese stuck to ham sandwiched between my boobs.

"OH MY FREAKING GOSH. WHAT THE FUCK AM I A DISEASED SANDWICH OR SOMETHING NOW?!?! AHHHH THIS IS DISGUSTING!!!!"

How the heck does something like this get in there?!? This is violation of privacy in so many ways!! I bet it was that homeless person in there who stuck it down my boobs!! Fucking creepy fetish pervert!! I knew he was giving my chest a weird death stare too!! He wasn't even blinking!! Or breathing. Come to think of it, I landed on him pretty hard too. Oh crap. I think he's dead.

Pshh nahh. He's fine. They all do that.

"Hey," I called out to Ally-who is now crying of laughter, "before you start shitting yourself lets start walking to my house so I can at least smell human again."

She wiped her laugh tears and straightened up.

" Aw why your house? My house is much closer and we have to pass the school to get to your house" she complained. Oh, you have the audacity to COMPLAIN?! Not this time Giggles.

" Well first of all, your house sucks. What are we gonna do there, play bingo with your gramps?" We actually did that once too. And I won that! Because I'm just too good to play bingo. "And second of all, my house rocks. Point blank. Anything of mine is always the best. So ha. And we're WALKING there."

Aw crap why'd I have to say that we're walking? I hate walking. I'd rather take the car we stole than walk. Hell, once I payed a kid 20 bucks to pull me around the neighborhood in a wagon because I wanted to take a stroll around town, but didn't feel like walking. 20 bucks well spent I might add. Heh.

Ally gave me a death stare and stomped towards my house. Yeah that's right you better listen to me wench! Hahahaha! Maid. Wow, this is weird. Instead of me being bossed by Ally it's the other way around. Mwahahahahahahaha! How do you like them apples?!?!! Ahh, I am awesome.

Pfft. I'm always awesome.