Life is Strange 2

2. The Butterfly

Sitting in Jefferson's class was as awkward as can be. I can't count the amount of times I had to say "the Daguerreian process" let alone the number of times I used my power to come back to this room. Frankly, I was tired of it.

I was half expecting them to shut this room down and never use it again, but I guess that would be a bit excessive.

We still don't have a teacher as yet though. It's just a room to study our notes for now, and ever since the scandal with Jefferson and Nathan's shooting, Blackwell hasn't been the most popular of places to come to.

I sat in the back of the room like I always did. Victoria and Taylor at my left side and Kate on my right, as usual. Of all the people I expected to show up at Chloe's funeral, Victoria was a pleasant surprise. I don't think her and Chloe ever spoke, at least not regularly and I never bothered to ask.

I don't know if she was there for me or if she had another reason, but that didn't exactly matter to me. Fact is, she was there. Sometimes the action speaks louder than the motive and vice versa.

I made it a goal to try to talk to her, but for some reason, I kept stopping short. I thought I was done with all that hesitant bullshit, but somethings don't change.

I've actually noticed her look my way a few times, as if she wanted to say something to me also. I think she wants to see how I'm doing, but she probably doesn't feel right about it, considering our current "relationship".

I never did hate her, though at times, she would make it really hard NOT to. Its just I never understood why someone so talented had to act so ugly. And she did open up to me at the "End of the World" party, even though she doesn't know it now.

In the end though, I know how I feel towards her, as well as her feelings toward me. I guess that's enough. At least for now.

I just don't want to force my way into fake relationships and call it "friendship" anymore. That's one of the reasons as to why I haven't used my rewind ability since that Friday.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tempting though. There have been times when I just wanted to rewind a couple seconds to fix something that should not have happened, but I'm afraid of this ability now more than ever.

That week was horrible, but I don't want Chloe's sacrifice to be in vain. I don't want to believe that twisting her fate WASN'T the reason for the storm.

Of all my regrets, that would be my biggest, and I'm afraid of what I would do to myself if that was ever the case.

But let me tell you how crazy life is, because even as I say that, I feel like I WANT a reason to feel more depressed. I NEED it. It's like I'm asking God or the powers that be to give me as much misfortune as they can give me.

Anything that causes me pain, especially after playing god on other people's lives. Lately, I feel like I've been more self-critical than probably my entire life. Blaming myself for so much, cursing myself for other things that were already out of my hands, and so much more.

For a power that I naively imagined would change my life and the lives of others for the better quickly turned into the curse that made me hate myself. I'm a slave to the stress and the shackles that bruise my ankles and wrists are the memories that haunt me.

I felt a headache coming so I palmed my forehead. Ever since coming to Blackwell I could never seem to get away from headaches. But this is one reason I'm looking forward to Winter Break so much.

Hopefully I can get Kate and Warren to follow as well, at this point, I feel like I can tell them just about anything...anything minus my power that is.