promises∵cake

seventeen

If someone said i was nervous, mad, and maybe angry, it would be the truth. I got kissed by Ashton and i couldn't help but felt really bad. I feel that i cheated on Calum even though we aren't in relationship, but still.

Luke? Why aren't you answering?

I'm done with my group project, i wanna talk to you.

I groaned mentally, rolling my eyes in frustration. I was the one who always asked Calum to be faithful only for me, but now i made a mistake. A big mistake. Basically it wasn't my fault, because Ashton was the one who leaned towards me and kissed me on the lips.

It wasn't like i kissed back, because i knew that was wrong. And the kiss was just the slightest, it was fast and light. But we still kissed and it's bad. Like really bad, for me.

Sighing in exasperation, i moved my hand to write some words onto the table.

Sorry calum. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

What happened luke? Are you okay?

Sorry, i'm so sorry.

I noticed myself was getting pretty emotional. My handwriting started to be more messy than usual, it scrawled and hard to read. Slight tears were welling in my eyes, causing my vision blurred a little. I quickly rubbed it off using the pad of my thumb, not letting the sad tears landed on my lips.

Luke, it's okay. Tell me, what happened?

Sorry, sorry, i'm so sorry. I shouldn't take his offer in the first place, i already had a bad idea about it before but i still accepted it, sorry i'm sorry

Luke? Baby, it's okay, don't be sorry. Just tell me?

My friend, ashton kissed me on the lips. But i swear i didn't kiss him back, and it was fast one.

That was indeed a small kiss, and Calum already told me that he even dated a boy before. But, the truth that i felt really bad was because i always the one who told him to be faithful only just for me, and i kinda broke it first.

It wasn't my place to tell him not to date someone other than me, because it's his decision. All i want is him, waiting for me. And he did waited, for three years.

I already decided to keep my lips, and everything to be innocent for now until i meet Calum. And it's my decision. Means i won't kiss anyone except it's Calum. And it broke me when Ashton kissed me out of nowhere.

Hey, it's okay, it's not your fault. I'm not mad.

You're not...?

Nope, i'm not mad. You know, i promised myself to wait for you, but i'm going to be honest now.

Yes?

I can't promise you that i won't kiss anyone, or won't have sex with anyone when i wait for you. I know it's not fair but i'm still a teenager and it's hard.

I know. It's okay.

It's just that i'm disappointed with myself because i promised myself not going to flirt with anyone, moreover kiss them until i meet you, i'm going to keep my lips only just for you.

Now, i feels bad that i can't promise you not to kiss with anyone.

It's 3 years for you. But it's probably just only months for me. I understand.

You're too great for me.

Don't say that, waiting someone is hard, you're too great for me.

But Luke, i promise you that my heart is only for you. Sexual interaction doesn't matter if my heart only belongs to you. I am yours already.

I felt myself smiled, my expression went softer than before. All of the hard rocks on my shoulders already cracked up, feeling my heart softened.

Sure, will you promise me?

I promise you.