Strings Attached

Chapter Twenty-Four

"What if I lose you like I have lost everything I cared about before?" he whispered.

"You won't," I said. I kissed his lips swiftly. "I don't want to leave you."

"Are you sure you can deal with everything that's going on in my life?" he asked.

"I'm sure," I said.

He sighed. "I guess I can't keep you away," he said. "But it'd be selfish of me to ask you to stay with me."

"It wouldn't," I said.

"It would." He sighed. "Chris, why would someone like you want to be with someone as messed up as me?"

The pain inside his eyes was just too strong it made my heart ache. I would have given anything to trade places with him. I could not stand seeing the pain in his eyes whenever he recalled his past. I just hated to see how hurt Teddy was. My heart ached for him. Seeing him hurt would hurt me more than anything ever had.

It was then that I understood. I understood why I could trust him so easily. I understood why I hated to see him hurt. I understood why he made me want to protect him and why he made me feel safe in his arms.

Suddenly everything made sense, and when I put all the pieces together, I realized why it was such a big deal to me.

I was in love with Teddy, and I was deeply sure of it. It all clicked inside my head like two puzzle pieces connecting.

All the wires in my brain were joining, and I understood why he loved wires so much because I was beginning to love wires, too.

"Because I love you," I whispered.

At first, I regretted it, afraid that I would scare him away, but I was completely sure that it was true, that I was madly in love with Theodore Harper, and that no one could keep me from expressing my feelings. I knew I loved him, and there was no point in trying to hide it.

"You don't—"

I interrupted him. "I do," I said, louder this time. "I am in love with you, Teddy, and I'm not afraid of telling you. I don't care if you don't love me back. I don't care if you don't want for me to love you, and I don't care if you want me to leave you. I don't care because I will stay, anyway, and because I can't stop loving you even if I try. Let's face it, Teddy. I love you. It may scare you away; it may make you want to push me away, but—"

Before I could finish, Teddy wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder gently. I could feel a little drop on my neck, and it made me realize that he was crying.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," he muttered. "You weren't supposed to love me."

"Too bad I already do," I muttered.

"Do you really mean it?" he asked.

"Of course I do. I'm not saying it just for the sake of saying it, Teddy. I'm saying it because I mean it with all my heart," I told him.

In that moment, I did not even care that he had not said it back. I just wanted him to know that I loved him because what he needed the most in his life was to be loved. He needed to be appreciated and cherished, and I wanted to give him what he needed. Not only did he need it, though. He also deserved it.

"Chris," he whispered between sobs. "You... You are the most beautiful girl in the world... I..."

"Shush," I muttered, patting his back gently. "Don't say anything, Teddy."

"But I..." He started sobbing even more.

"Just don't say anything," I told him. "Sometimes silence is a blessing."

"Chris..."

"I love you, Teddy Bear," I said, meaning every word. "We are connected by something bigger than ourselves, don't you get it? This force is bigger than any other force I have ever seen. This force brings people together; this force keeps those who are destined for each other next to one another. There is no force in this world that is stronger than this one. This force is like a huge wire that connects people when they are meant to be together. This force is called love, Teddy, and that's what I feel for you."

Teddy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Chris..." He lowered his face. "I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything, Teddy," I said, smirking. "Jeez, Teddy, for once in your life shut the fuck up."

He grinned, and I kissed his lips softly. He was the purest person I had ever met. Teddy was simply the kind of person whom everyone wants to become. I was in love with him, and I was not afraid of letting him know it.

"Teddy Harper," I whispered once we pulled away, "please don't ever leave me."

He held me tightly, and I could feel my whole body trembling.

"I won't," he murmured sweetly. "I won't, Chris."

He did not say anything else. He did not have to. He was very shocked to learn that he could actually be loved.

I was even more shocked. I had never expected that I would fall in love at that age. I had always imagined that I would fall in love in my early twenties with the man of my dreams, an engineer perhaps, and marry him, but I fell in love way earlier than I had planned to.

That is the thing about love: it cannot be planned, and it cannot be expected; it can only be cherished.