Strings Attached

Chapter Five

I decided to do something that I did every time that I felt like escaping my reality. I rushed to get my mother's car's keys and prayed that she would not hear me. She would probably have a heart attack if she knew that her daughter was wandering around the city at midnight, and I would not blame her.

I would have asked Mom for her permission, but she would have refused, and I really needed a getaway. I needed to forget about how I had lost my place as the salutatorian and how Dad had left us to be with someone else and how I was never good enough for anything or anyone.

I simply needed to forget about how painful life could be sometimes, about how those whom you loved sometimes betrayed you.

I sighed and bit my bottom lip. I knew it was not right to sneak out of the house, but I felt too miserable to even think straight. All I wanted to do was escape, if only for a moment.

I wanted to forget about my problems. Heck, I needed a break from everything and everyone.

I silently walked out of the house, hoping I would not wake anyone up. It was easier than it sounds because Mom and Brianna had a very heavy sleep.

I did not know about Theodore, but judging from the fact that he did not get up to see what the noise was all about, I would say that he was a heavy sleeper, too.

I made my way to the car and got inside, sighing in relief as I realized that I had successfully left the house without anyone's noticing.

The night was cold, just like I liked it.

The dark road in front of me made everything better.

I rolled my window down to feel the fresh air in my skin, and it made me feel better already.

I started the engine and gripped the steering wheel, wondering where I should go. It was never easy to decide my destination, and this time was no exception. I thought about whether I should just go to the park to think while sitting on a swing or drive to the beach to feel the sand under my feet while I cleared my thoughts.

The park won, but it was only because I did not feel like driving too far away, and I loved swings.

Swinging back and forth would always make me feel powerful, as though there were nothing in the world to keep me from reaching the top. Swinging made me think about how life had its ups and downs and that no matter how many times you are feeling down, there will always come a moment when you feel like you are touching the stars.

***

I drove all the way to the park, and once I arrived, I rushed to the set of swings and sat down on the tallest swing I could find.

I smiled as I swung back and forth, thinking about how much I hated that I could never be anybody's number one.

I was not the number one of our class. My father had left me for another family, making me his second choice. Mom had a tendency to treat Brianna with more care than she treated me, making me feel as though I were not as important as Brianna was to her.

I sighed and tried my best not to cry. It was not easy, but I needed to be strong. If I was not strong for our family, then who would be? We needed strength to keep going, and Brianna and Mom were too weak to do so by themselves. I loved them to death, but they were not strong enough to keep our family going.

"Why?" I asked myself. "Why is everything going from bad to worse so suddenly?"

I had finally accepted that I was not number one; I had come to terms with being the salutatorian, not the valedictorian.

I might have been exaggerating, but I truly wanted to be the salutatorian because Columbia would probably not notice me if I was not one of the first two. Nevertheless, Theodore had taken that away from me, and I could not even blame him for it. He was smarter, and that hurt my pride.