Strings Attached

Chapter Three

I smiled. It was the first smile that I really meant. "It's fine," I told him. "I just tend to overreact."

"No, you were right to get angry," he said. "I don't know anything about you. I shouldn't have told you that you were being stereotypical. Perhaps you have your reasons, and I should've respected them."

"Maybe I was being a little stereotypical," I admitted.

"I don't know these people, Christina. You know them better than I do, and if you say they are all fake and shallow, then I should believe you." Theodore shrugged. "After all, my old school was full of assholes, too."

I shook my head. "I don't know all of them. Yeah, some of them really suck, but I'm sure not all of them are fake. There have to be some genuine people out there, too."

"I'd like to think that. I'd like to think that there are genuine individuals in this world, that not everything is lies and falseness. There has to be honest people remaining in this planet. The day there are no longer authentic people in this world, then I will completely lose hope in humanity," he said.

"I'd lose hope, too," I said.

I meant it. Our world would completely lack hope if genuine people ceased to exist. There would be no truth and no control. No one would be honest or authentic. Everyone would pretend to be someone he or she is not. The day something like that happened, the apocalypse would begin.

There is no clearer sign of the end of the world than the lack of humanity. Everything that made us human would be gone if we were unable to be sincere with one another. I had always hated lies. There was no need for anybody to lie.

If we, humans, are not honest with each other, then with whom? Honesty is what the world requires. It requires honesty and people who are able to take that honesty and face the reality of their situation.

"I'm sure not all of them are as shallow as you think," he said.

I nodded. I really wanted to believe him. I wanted to think that there were still nice people out there. My mom was kind; Brianna was kind; Theodore was kind. Not everyone in this world was cruel and shallow.

Maybe I was so used to society's rejection to remember that there were other people who were rejected, too.

I did not know if I had no friends because nobody liked me or because I pushed people away without meaning to. I had always thought that it was the former, that nobody gave me a chance to show who I really was. But now I was having second thoughts. Perhaps I was the one who did not give anybody a chance. Maybe Theodore was right and I was as guilty as they were.

Whatever the reason for my lack of friends was, it did not make feel any better to think about it, especially when I realized that I could be the cause of my own loneliness.

It is one thing to have someone to blame for your pain, but it is a completely different thing to have yourself to blame for your own suffering. If I had been the one who had brought that much loneliness and unhappiness to her own life, then I was the one who needed to change, not them. I needed to become a better person. I needed to stop being so cynical and stereotypical.

Maybe if I had been a better person my father would have not felt that he had the necessity to find a new family. Maybe I could have made him stay if I had been a more loving and less selfish daughter. Maybe all those times that I refused to go to the park with him or accompany him and Brianna to the movies had been what caused him to leave. Maybe he felt unloved and rejected. That, of course, did not give him an excuse to leave. But it did give me a reason to change.

"I'd bet the food is delicious," said Theodore suddenly. "It smells delicious."

I smiled. "Oh, that is an understatement. My mom is the best cook ever."