Spin For You [Peterick]

-18-

Dear Patrick,

Fuck, I was drunk writing that last letter. I can hardly even read it, and I think I must have spilled whatever coma-inducing liquid I was pumping into myself over it at some point, all the writing is smudged, and most of it is complete bullshit anyway.

However.

I'm kinda thinking over the whole fuck-what-Joe-thinks-I'm-going-to-make-you-mine-and-be-the-best-boyfriend-ever-and-live-happily-ever-after idea. Because drunk Pete was right. Who cares what anyone else thinks? What matters is what you think, whether you like me or not, whether you'd consider dating me. Plus, I'm starting to think that if I don't get you soon, I might lose myself. I'm going crazy over this, but Patrick, you could save me.

I don't even know if you like guys. But then again, I didn't even know I liked guys until I met you.

And there's all these thoughts buzzing round my head, what if you don't see me like that, what if you're completely and utterly straight, what if you don't think it would work, what if you don't want to ruin our friendship? But fuck it. I'm done worrying. I have to try. Or I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

So what to do? Do I just tell you outright, hey Patrick I fancy the pants off you and was wondering if you would be interested in fucking me senseless? No, you're not that type of guy, and I'm not that brave. Something more subtle then, Patrick, we've been friends for a while now, and I'm starting to think maybe I might want something more. Do you think...we could be something more? Hmm. Gentler, but I need something even more subtle, that I can brush off as simple friendly affection if it backfires.

We're on the last leg of the tour, and it's killing me that you're so close to me all the time, and yet not nearly as close as I'd like. I hate being five metres from your sweat-soaked, music-possessed body every night on stage, and not being able to plant kisses all over it. The last few weeks have been amazing, the crowds are so great, we're so great, I'm so proud of us. But we could have so much more, me and you. I can't be around you this much without falling in love with you all over again.

We've got a few days until our next show, so we've decided to take a bit of a break and breathe out. The bus is gonna stop soon, and we'll stay in this little town for a day or so, just to restock and recuperate. You and Joe know this old record store there, so you'll no doubt be spending most of the day off the bus. So.

I have an idea.

From Pete