next door » joshler [book #1]

fifty three » i want death

mitch finds the letter.

"who's this from?" he asks, holding it up. it's completely blank, the envelope, save for a note. for josh dun.

"i have no idea," josh says, looking puzzled. "can i see it?"

"no, i need to read it first." mitch starts to rip it open, despite josh's protests.

"but it's addressed to me-"

"shut up," mitch snaps, his eyes slowly moving down the page. "what the fuck?"

"who's it from?" asks josh, subdued.

mitch drops the letter. "your pussy ass boyfriend tyler," he spits, and slaps josh across the face, hard. "i told you not to talk to him!"

"i didn't!" josh cries, bewildered, and gets another slap. he cradles his screaming cheek and sucks in a sob.

"are you crying?" mitch says suddenly. his face is a mask of rage. "don't tell me you're a fucking pussy too. boys. don't. cry." and with each word, he slaps josh again, until the boy is sporting a dark red mark that's quickly forming into a bruise, standing silent and stoic with tears in his eyes. "fucking stupid," mitch hisses, slamming him in the stomach, leaving another mark sure to bruise.

"i'm sorry," josh whispers, voice broken.

"you wanna read the letter? fine. go ahead." mitch whips it at him and leaves to his bedroom.

allowing himself a shaky whimper, josh slowly slides to the ground and looks over the letter with blurry, tear-warped vision.

as his eyes finally read the last words, he gasps and lets the paper flutter to the ground. tyler tried to kill himself again? and he's not going to talk to josh again?

mitch comes back. he looks sour and unhappy. "did you read it?" he asks, then crouched down in front of josh and kisses his bruised cheek softly. "i'm sorry, baby. pill?" he opens his palm, revealing a small capsule. josh wants to refuse, but he knows that will only get him another slap (or ten), so he takes it and swallows it slowly. "that's better. good boy. now, let's forget about tyler, and come back to bed with me... what do you say?"

josh sits there for a moment longer, going over the paper in his head. the pill is slowly working its thing on him, but while he remains slightly sober, he begins to formulate a plan. "sure," he says, and lets mitch carry him to bed.

-

it's later, in the middle of the night, that josh puts his plan into action. he'd packed a small bag of clothes and other necessities, and now he slips out of bed and pads down the hallway, tyler's letter in hand, heart pounding.

if he gets caught, josh realizes, mitch won't go easy on him. it'll be a shock if he'll even be able to walk afterwards. still, this only spurs him on, pulling open the never-squeaky front door, his heart in his throat as he makes his way down the stairs. the elevator is, as usual, out of order, but it's too loud anyway.

he stops at the bottom of the stairs and grins. this is actually happening. holy shit- he's actually going to do it. defy mitch.

outside, the air is freezing cold. it is november, after all. josh is shocked to realize how long he's spent with mitch- nearly a month.

he pulls his phone out and dials.

"brendon?" he waits, anxious, for the other boy to confirm.

"josh? it's two in the morning, what the fuck do you want?" brendon's voice is comforting and familiar, no matter how pissed off he sounds.

josh smiles. "a ride to tyler's house. and a long, long conversation."

//looks like it's not the end of the story... literally this is so long w t f//