The Trouble With Goodbye

Chapter Fifty

My legs burn with the fatigue of all the trips up and down three flights of stairs to my new apartment.

I was able to get a place one building over from Jenna's apartment, and I feel such a rush of overwhelming pride as I turn the key in the lock and push open the door.

My own place.

It feels so different from that first day in the dorms up in Boston. There, I was still being watched by a Resident Assistant. I was still following the university's rules. I was still forbidden from having boys in my room.

I was still in this in-between point where I had some level of independence, but my life wasn't really my own.

I look at my new apartment and smile. This place is all mine for the next twelve months. I can paint the walls, hang pictures, cook.

Or not. I can eat greasy take-out every night instead.

I can invite anyone I want and stay up as late as I want.

For now, the place is practically empty. The sum total of my belongings comes to three suitcases and six half-packed boxes. No couch. No pots and pans. Hell, I don't even have a bed yet.

It took most of the money I'd saved to be able to afford the deposit and first month's rent at this place.

Knox offered to help me pay, but what kind of independence would that be? No, I want to do this on my own.

As much as I love Knox, I want to claim this space for myself. I want to create my own tranquil space where I can just sit and think about what it is that I expect of myself. What do I really want out of my life? What do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish?

My whole life, people have saddled me with their expectations. Their rules. My parents, my teachers, my boyfriends, my schools. Even my best friends all expected something specific from me at some time or another. And I let them. I let their fear and their needs be my compass, always guiding my path.

But not anymore.

This place is mine.

And I just threw away my compass. It's time for a fresh start. It's time to figure out who Leigh Anne Davis really is deep down inside.

I close the apartment door, throw the deadbolt and walk into the center of the room where the boxes are piled up.

I sit down next to the first box, slit it open.

And begin to unpack.