Reviews

My Life of Being Harry Styles Best Friend for KiyaAnnCaturia

Summery: I'm pretty sure, so far this story has been summarised in the title. The work begins on an OC, Melissa's 17th birthday, she's spending the evening with her best friend Harry Styles, who is not currently in One Direction, but living Wisconsin. At the end of chapter one there is a car crash. 

Good points: Your basic grammar is really good, and unlike a lot of the stories I've read, you have understood and respected the rules of paragraphing. The story isn't very original but that doesn't mean it lacks potential, the car crash at the end of chapter one was a lovely little cliff hanger after all. 

Grammatical errors: Mostly your grammar was good, but you may want to try using both shorter and longer sentences, there are also a load of indents in a few paragraphs towards the end of the chapter that I doubt you want there. 

What needs to be improved: Straight away I would not read your story because of it's title, it's uncreative and cliche and it's not grabbing anyone's attention, you might also get more readers if you include a summery, all books need blurbs. I also think you should use more adventurous words to allow your writing to mature, you are, after all, writing as an intelligent 17-year-old girl. Finally, I think you should also only really change perspective every new chapter. 

How to do this: Your work is fan fiction so you might try using some One Direction lyrics or a title from one of their songs, this will draw more fans towards your work.

You should know what's going to happen in your story so you should be able to summarise the basic plot, though don't give too much away. You might want to mention the friendship between your OFC and Harry or you might want to mention a problem they will be facing later on in the story. 

To improve and expand on your vocabulary look up synonyms, for example, ravishing, bewitching and comely are all more interesting ways of saying beautiful. 

Finally, just try staying in one characters mind throughout the whole chapter, the reader will connect more to the character that way and you wont give away too much of the plot. 

Hope this helped, keep going your work has a lot of potential as long as you keep letting yourself grow as a writer!