Summery: A 17-year-old original girl is abused by her father and forced to work when she should be at school, she's sent to summer camp, she meets Zayn (from one direction), while she's at camp her mother dies.
Good points: Your spacing is pretty good, the paragraphs are about the right length and I applaud you for trying to write something with deeper meaning than most love stories. And the inner thoughts of your character are written very nicely in places.
Grammatical errors: There's an indent at the beginning of nearly every paragraph that doesn't need to be there but other than that your basic grammar is pretty good.
What needs to be improved: Your character is a little contradicting, she seems to be pretty confident and sassy which is very unusual for an abuse victim, I'm assuming that her farther hurting her has happened throughout all of her life and, if this is the case, she is more likely to be very timid and secretive. It also wouldn't be unusual for her to be intimidated/ scared of other male authority figures.
How to do this: Do some research, I'm assuming you're interested in abusive relationships and the effects they have on people. There are many interesting articles on Stockholm Syndrome which could help you a little. And take your time with her forming new relationships and bonds with other characters, really think about the way her brain works, you have to be carful to get it right when dealing with such a deep and tricky subject.
Keep going and good luck! You have a lot of creativity and the potential to make this story really interesting and heart breaking as long as you take the time to think everything through. The more you know your characters and their traits the better this story will be.
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