No, We Didn't Have Sex If That's What Your Thinking

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Ch14: No, We Didn't Have Sex If That's What Your Thinking

Day 76

I'm laying down in my bed starring at the roof and I begin thinking about my life.

Do you ever just think about your life?

Where is it going?

How is it going?

Why were you chosen to live this life?

But the question that doesn't seem to stop running through my mind is, why is Elliot Stone laying down next to me in bed?

No, we didn't have sex if that's what your thinking.

Although for some reason I can't stop smiling whenever last nights events play in my mind.

I know, I know. What about my dark deep secret?

I said and I quote, fuck it.

I'm not going to not keep my secret safe, but a little emotions never did anyone any harm.

Besides it's obvious that I like Elliot, a lot.

And he seems to like me, a lot.

I couldn't control myself and I didn't want to anymore. Having to hide everything you feel gets so exhausting and I'm tired of it.

No more emotionless Lydia. Well, at least not with Elliot.

Yesterday was the best birthday I've had in a long time. Last nights even replay in my mind...

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"I have an idea on how to lift your mood," I say.

"Me too," he answers and before I can say anything his lips are on mine.

This was defiantly not what I had in mind...

Stop this right now Lydia.

Suddenly Elliot pushes me down into the sofa and before I can react he's on top of me using his elbows to sutain his weight his lips never leaving mine.

"Stop," I breath out and he does.

I need to think.

I look into his deep beautiful brown eyes losing myself in his emotions. He's starring at me with so much passion and lust that it makes me want to throw myself at him.

God he's so adorable.

I can feel his arms around me and his legs are tangled with mine. He looks almost hurt thinking that I'm rejecting him again.

Am I? I don't know...

"Lyddie," he smiles seductively "that did lift up my mood."

I feel my heart skip a beat when I hear the name Lyddie. Why does he do this to me?

Make me feel all these emotions.

Maybe its his messy dark brown hair or his deep brown bright eyes. Or it's his strong rigid facial features. Or the fact that he can be so caring and protective.

Why do I do this to myself? I know how I feel, yet I insist on pushing them down. I can't anymore. I don't want to anymore.

I have this gorgeous man in front of me and I refuse to denie myself this opportunity.

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