Video Girl (j.g.)

Chapter 15

Sam and I have been "together" for about 3 weeks now. We have sex all the time but I honestly think that's all this is. He hasn't made anything official yet and hasn't even taken me on a date. I hate to say it but I think Jack was right in warning me about him. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining about our current situation, it's great. I just have feelings for him and not knowing how he feels about me sucks.

"Rachel?" Sam asked as I laid my head on his bare chest. We just finished round like 35 basically and I'm exhausted.

"Hmmm" I hummed in response.

"Can I ask you something?" He said making me lift my head to look at him.

Maybe this is it. Maybe he's finally going to make us official.

"I'm shooting a music video this weekend and want you to be my lead girl." He responded and my heart dropped.

"Oh.... yeah. I will." I said in defeat laying my head back on his chest.

"What as that about? Are you okay?" He asked

"Yeah just tired" I responded falling back asleep.

+

Today's the day Jack and Jack's video comes out. They both tagged me in their posts on twitter and it was the first time Jack has acknowledged me since I told him to leave me alone. The post wasn't anything meaningful just basically giving me recognition for the video and thanking me.

I retweeted it and decided I might as well watch the video.

The music started playing as the video played out on my computer screen. It came out amazing. Everything about it was so professional and looked so awesome after everything was put together.

The scene with Jack and I made me feel a weird feeling in my stomach. Butterflies? I hate to admit it but I miss the way he kissed me, the way he touched me. There was always so much more meaning in it compared to the way Sam touches me.

I took out my phone and went to Jack's contact.

Rachel: The video came out amazing. Congrats on the release and thank you again for the opportunity Jack.

I locked my phone internally freaking out at what his response would be but tried to calm myself.

5 minutes passed, then 10, then 30. No response. After 3 hours I knew he wasn't going to respond to me and it felt like a knife in my heart. I know I wanted this. I know he's in a relationship but I can't shake this feeling of just straight up missing him.

The next thing I knew my notifications were blowing up. I went on twitter and saw Sam tagged me in a tweet.

"Sammywilk: you guys thought @rachelllxo was good in that video just wait for the surprise we have for you coming soon!"

Everyone was either excited for it or calling me a whore for being in both videos. Right now I couldn't really give a fuck about that shit. At least I'm getting more opportunities, right?

My phone started ringing and Jack's caller ID lit up my phone. My breath hitched as I picked it up to answer.

"Hello?"

"What are you doing with Sam soon?" Jack's voice echoed through the other line.

"Oh hey I'm good how are you Jack?" I said sarcastically rolling my eyes suddenly remembering why I told him to fuck off in the first place.

"Answer the question Rachel"

"If you must know I'm shooting his new music video this weekend with him"

"Ha" He chuckled through the phone and I didn't exactly know how to respond to that.

"Sleeping your way to new opportunities I see" He said harshly like a dagger in my heart. I felt tears welling up.

"That's not what I'm doing Jack" I said quietly trying to keep my voice from cracking.

"Right" He said sarcastically. I was getting angry.

"Fuck you Jack. You blackmailed me into sleeping with you if I must remind you. You have no right to say something like that to me"

"Oh please stop acting like you didn't like it Rachel"

"I'm done with this conversation. I actually thought I missed you but you just showed me exactly why I'm better off without you."

"Wait Rachel, I'm sorry"

"Too late. Bye Jack" I said hanging up the phone and heavy sighing at how emotionally fucked up my life is right now. As much of an asshole Jack is and as much as his words hurt me, I still want him. I still miss him. What is it that this kid has over me that I can't let him go.