Sleep Diction

10/8/15

Love is punching me.
From someone who I thought would be different.
My arms are bruised, from blocking.
Keep your care, I want to be wounded.
Keep your care, I'd rather not be killed by love.
Keep your care, I'm scared.
My fears are greater than your cares.
Your cares are to show me care.
How easily I sway from goodness, only to cry about being lonely later.
Is this actually for me?
Everything inside of me politely whispers "no."
Not just you, a small list of few.
Could they all be wrong.
Or just me.
I'm wrong a lot, a lot more than I'd like to be.
Too bad, there's no breaks for this anxiety.
I have to be alone.
I would like, to think without outside influence.
I like to drive without outside influence.
Why are you still around, have I not coated you in negativity?
Even if I say yes?
Even if you say no?
You must know me better than me.
Impossible, from out of this old life you've only know me three.
36 months to be exact.
Not exactly, like how I am about all this chatter.
Your characteristics excel where I do not.
Enticing.
Marvelous even.
Alas, but even being marveled by the eye of the public satisfies no pleasures.
Provides no care.
Shares no thoughts.
You only hold their short attention span for only a moment.
All the while I'm thinking, all of this should be more.
More, of what I want?
More of what I should want?
No, just moar.
Forgive me human for I will make this tuff on you.
Even when I shouldn't.
Even when it's wrong.
For I forgot how to actually love sometime ago.
Is that something you would really like train?
Is this something that seems ok?
No.