Why Can't You See

Chapter 4

Oh look, I'm back from the dead with another chapter. I'm not sure if anyone's still reading at this point but if you are thank you so much ^_^

Phil's P.O.V.

"Hey Phil, come here!" Dan called to me from the living  room.

"What?" I asked, trudging out of my own room and flopping down on the couch next to him.

"On Friday, Pj's throwing a house party because of the launch of Oscar's Hotel! A ton of our friends are going to be there and it sounds amazing!" He excitedly said.

A party was literally the last thing I wanted to go to on Friday, but Dan sounded so excited. I had put him through enough the past couple of weeks that he deserved this. I knew that if I told him I didn't want to go he wouldn't go either and I didn't want to be that selfish.

"Sure! Sounds like fun." I said, trying to come off as enthusiastic.

Dan bought it and smiled back at me.

"Great! It's at 10 pm and will run pretty late I guess." He said.

We both weren't really "party people", but I guess Dan just really wanted to get me and him out of the house. Which I completely understood.

•

That night, as we lay together curled up on the couch and watching Netflix, I couldn't help but feel that we were becoming a bit more than best friends.

I was sitting pretty close to Dan on the couch. Our shoulders were almost touching, both of us sitting with our legs under us and slightly leaning towards the other.

I decided I was going to try something.

Leaning my head over a little, I rested my shoulder and my head against Dan and assessed his reaction.

Upon the contact, he jumped a little but didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned more towards me and put his arm loosely around me.

My heart was pounding so fast it felt like it was about to fly out of me. That was a weird way to put it, but it was true. I felt my face heat up a bit, as we sat in silence, continuing to watch American Horror Story.

"Evan Peters is so hot." Dan randomly said after a close up on the guy's face.

"I know right?" I said, looking up at him for a second and thinking about how much hotter Dan was then Evan Peters.

Dan looked down at me about a second after and we held eye contact for what seemed like forever.

"So...this is a nice Netflix and chill." I blurted out, mentally face palming and thinking why the fuck did I say
that.

Dan and I both giggled and he said "Yeah, we should do this more often."

"Yeah..." I mumbled back, knowing that he wasn't talking about watching Netflix because we did that all the time.

This is so confusing.

•
After the show ended, we both got up and stretched.

"Want to go to bed?" Dan asked.

This had also become a thing for us. We now slept together. In a non-sexual way, we would both go to usually Dan's room and go to sleep in his bed. Together.

This wasn't what best friends did and we both knew that. We just hadn't addressed the issue yet.

"Yeah...m'tired." I mumbled sleepily, heading towards his room. He followed behind me.

As usual, he pulled his clothes off down to his boxers and I just changed into a pair of his pajama pants and left my t-shirt on.

One difference was that I couldn't change in front of him. He just stripped down, not caring if I was there or not. I had to go to the bathroom or another room to change because I was too paranoid of him seeing my legs and all the scars and letting him down again.

After I came back to our room (it now kind of was ours), I lay down next to him and we wrapped our arms around each other. That night, I was taken back to 2009 when he stayed at my house for the week.

It had been one of the best  weeks of my life. We had cuddled and kissed and even held hands in the streets as we walked. Everything was perfect back then. But then that stupid video had to leak and 2012 happened and we had inevitably broke it off in fear of someone finding out. I had cried so much that year and we were both miserable without each other. I had asked Dan to think about it, to take me back because we were so happy when we were a thing, but he refused. He yelled and screamed at me until I cried and he cried and we were a mess.

After that, we slowly grew closer and closer back together, trying to fix what that year did to us, but never really talking about it.

This night had brought back all those memories and soon enough, I was crying again.

Dan woke of course, since I was shaking but I was trying not to show it.

"Phil? What's wrong? Are you alright?" He said, sitting up.

"Yeah fine...just remembered some stuff." I said honestly.

"Phil..." He trailed off, realizing what it probably was.

That night would have been a perfect moment to talk about what we'd been putting off talking about for years, but we were both too scared to.

Dan just held me in his arms as I cried and I just tried to stop crying and soon enough, we had both fallen asleep and were sure not to mention it in the morning.

Sorry this chapter was pretty bad, but it's just a filler. Something important is going to happen next chapter so since I really want to write it, I'll try not to procrastinate.  Anyways thanks for still reading and bye for now ^_^