Why Can't You See

Chapter 3

Hi guys :D
Yes, I'm back with another chapter I actually stopped procrastinating to write.

Phil's P.O.V.
At night I found myself crying.

Like every night since I can remember, I sat curled up on my bed sobbing into my duvet.

But something was different about tonight.

As I felt the familiar feeling of my throat tightening up dark thoughts consumed my entire being.

I felt like I was choking. Drowning.

I couldn't breathe.

It felt like there wasn't anything left for me. Like all the happiness had been sucked out of the world.

I tried to sit up. Tried to breathe. Tried to not make noise because Dan was in the next room.

It was too much.

I couldn't take it.

I needed Dan.

The last thing I wanted to do was wake him up, but I had to. So I did.

I stumbled out my door and across the little distance to his room. My hand clutched the doorknob and I sat there staring at it.

Should I do it? I need to. You're annoying him. I have to. He hates you. I'm going to die.

I slowly opened the door and saw him lying asleep in his bed.

For a second, I just stared at him in envy that someone could sleep so easily.

I felt myself crying again.

What is wrong with me?

Managing to stumble over to his bed, I tried to say something but I couldn't bring myself to disturb him. I desperately tried to will myself to shake him a little or say something, but I couldn't.

After ten minutes I finally willed myself to mumble out "Dan."

His eyes fluttered open, and then he saw me and quickly sat up.

"Phil what's wrong?" He asked, panic evident in his voice. He probably realized I was crying.

"I...I...I don't know." I managed to choke out because I really didn't.

"Phil..." He trailed off and moved his duvet out of the way, motioning for me to lie down next to him.

I stared at that empty space.

"Phil, sleep with me tonight mk?" He said, looking at me with care in his eyes.

Still shaking, I managed to lie down next to him. As soon as I did, he wrapped his arms around me and I felt safe for once. I wrapped my arms around him too, feeling his bare skin underneath my fingers.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Phil, don't be sorry for anything." He whispered back to me.

If only he knew.

At night it was always the worst, but tonight I was safe.

I snuggled closer to him and soon fell asleep in his arms, finally feeling like it was going to be ok.

•

A cell phone buzz caused me to stir  from my amazing sleep.

I felt Dan jump a little, and soon enough we were both staring at each other, not knowing what to say.

I wish it could've been like this every day, our arms and legs tangled together, heads inches apart.

My face started to heat up a bit an I felt the blush creep across my face. Red was in Dan's cheeks as well, and I wasn't sure whether or not to move or talk or do something.

We both lied there for what felt like hours but in reality was only about a minute or two.

"Hi." I said quietly, not really sure what to do. If we were in a relationship, this is what it would be like and I loved it. But sadly we weren't.

"Hello there." Dan said back and we both giggled a little.

We both didn't move.

"Dan..thanks for last night. I...I actually slept for once." I said, not breaking our ongoing eye contact.

"Well, maybe you should come here more often. This is nice..." Dan said quietly mumbling the last part.

I couldn't believe what I heard.

Could Dan like me back?

"Yeah...it is nice." I agreed, feeling my face heat up more.

I saw him blushing harder and I did too as I remembered we were basically tangled up and hugging each other.

Should I say something? Maybe he likes me too?

"Well...uh...we should get up." He said, abruptly sitting up, knocking me backwards.

Maybe not.

"Yeah.." I mumbled wondering what the fuck just happened.

•
That night was the same as all the other ones, sat in a ball, curled up and crying.

But I decided I was going to try something.

I stumbled into Dan's room again at 4 am and to my surprise, he was awake.

Wordlessly, he held up his duvet again offering me a place next to him.

I gratefully lay down next to him and last night repeated itself.

His arms made me feel safe.

•
That nightly pattern repeated itself for around a week.

Even though we would act like it didn't  happen, I couldn't help but think that best friends normally don't sleep and cuddle together every night and I couldn't help but hope that Dan liked me too.

•
Thank you guys for still reading and  not giving up on my procrastination ^_^