"Oh, hey, Sock-Head. What are you doing h-what the hell happened to your face?!" Eddy braced himself on the doorframe as he leaned forward, eyes squinting at the bruises blooming across his friend's face.
"G-greetings, Eddy! I was hoping you might be able to assist me with an...issue."
Eddy frowned slightly. "Sure, Double D. Anything for y-what the fuck."
Kevin took a step back, holding his hands up defensively. Eddy glared back and forth from Kevin to Edd, made a connection in his head, and lifted his fist to slug Kevin in the jaw.
"Eddy, wait! It was an accident!" Edd jumped in between them, shaking his hands desperately. "I'm fine!"
"What the fuck are you doing hanging out with this jerk anyw-are those handcuffs?" Edd blushed and Kevin rubbed the back of his neck as Eddy broke down in laughter. "Those are handcuffs! Oh, man, this is too good." He flipped out his phone to take a picture.
"Eddy, please!" Edd whined.
"Okay, okay..." He put his phone away. "Let me guess; you can't get out of them, and you want me to help."
"Yes, please."
Eddy smirked. "Come on in."
Kevin leaned down to whisper in Edd's ear as he removed his shoes. "You were right. I hate this idea. Are you sure you don't have any other ideas? I wouldlove to hear some other ideas." Edd looked up at him, annoyed, but Kevin went on. "Hey, you know what? I think I have a hacksaw in the shed. We could just cut my hand off. I'm willing to lose a hand for you, Double D. This is serious."
"He is my friend, Kevin. He doesn't like you just as much as you don't like him, yet he is willing to help us out of our predicament. I would appreciate it if you could show a little more gratitude," Edd snapped.
"God, fine. Don't have a cow. You've been awfully feisty this afternoon, Double D."
Edd blushed and looked back sharply. "So what if I have been?"
"So nothing." Kevin grinned wickedly. "I like it. It's like a whole new, more badass you."
"There is absolutely nothing badass about Double D," Eddy butted in. He stopped them at his bedroom door. "Wait here. I'll be right back."
A variety of strange and disturbing sounds came from Eddy's bedroom, slicing through the awkwardness between the two boys standing in the hall. A shuffling followed by what sounded like a giggle turned into a coughing fit. Several crashing sounds followed in quick succession. Eddy yelled something unintelligible. Suddenly, the door snapped open and then closed just as quickly. Eddy stood holding a small box. He motioned them into the kitchen. Kevin glanced at Edd suspiciously and Edd shrugged, an apologetic smile lighting his lips. Eddy was quick to notice that under the bright lights in the kitchen Edd's nose looked much worse. He took the opportunity to exact revenge on the jock by casually sliding the chair out from under him as he sat down. Kevin landed hard on the linoleum.
"Oh, Kevin!" Eddy held the back of his hand to his mouth. "I'm so sorry! Usually we don't have problems with the kitchen furniture. Bad chair!" He shook his finger at the offending chair. Edd covered a giggle with his arm.
"Whatever, asshole. Just get us out of these stupid handcuffs so we can get the hell out of your house." Kevin sat next to Edd and glared out of the window.
Eddy grinned. "Gentlemen: I present to you...the Collection!"
He upended the box and they watched in shocked awe as hundreds of tiny keys came spilling out onto the table. The last few keys came tumbling out of the box and slid off the table, clattering lightly on the floor.
"Remarkable..." Edd breathed, picking up a key to inspect its shape.
"Fucking weird," Kevin corrected.
Eddy clapped his hands together and rubbed. "Alright, ladies. Let's find a key!"
Nearly an hour later, and the pair was still firmly locked together. Kevin had his head on the table, softly hitting the table over and over with his fist. Edd sat patiently while Eddy worked at the lock with the last key from the pile. The small boy felt a headache coming on and desperately wished the ordeal over so he could go home and drink a cup of tea and feed his ants. With an irritated grunt, Eddy tossed the final key back into the box.
"Well, looks like that's it. I'm out of keys." He folded the lid of the box up and stood to walk it back to his room. Edd sighed down at the tablecloth, picking at a loose thread. Kevin looked up at the morose sound and forced a smile.
"Hey, it's not that bad. We'll think of something," he whispered. He brushed his fist against Edd's jaw. The boy flinched away from his touch, and he frowned. "Why are you so upset, Dork? I said it would be okay."
Edd sighed and glanced up, briefly holding Kevin's gaze before returning his eyes to the table. "I know. You're right. It will all be fine."
"Hey...hey! What's this?" Kevin reached forward and plucked a key from the front of Edd's sweater. Kevin tried it on the handcuffs and after a bit of wiggling, they popped right off. "Well, would you look at that! It must have snagged on your sweater when I accidentally broke your face." Kevin made light work of the cuff around his own wrist before sliding the handcuffs and the key into his back pocket.
"I'm coming back in!" Eddy shouted. "You better not be making out!"
Edd blushed furiously. He placed a hand over the spot on his sweater where Kevin found the key: right over his heart. Oh, don't read anything into it. Symbolism does not exist in the real world as it does in books. He shook his head and stood.
"Thank you for your assistance, Eddy. I'll see you tomorrow morning at school. Come, Kevin."
Edd slipped his shoes on without lacing them and hurried outside. He took a deep breath of fresh air, allowing himself to relax. The thought of his cup of tea was enough to put a smile on his face. He stepped off the curb toward his house. Kevin's hand clamped down on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.
"Hey, Double Dork. Forgetting something? We still need to have a little talk."
