In love with the Swirl (Myles Parrish)

Part 8// Stuck in a Kodak

Myles's POV

I was just in a bad mood and i don't understand why. There's so much pressure put on me and i'm suppose to be happy and positive all the time but m not. I'm just a big hypocrite. Y/n walked came up in the front with all of us because she heard Kalin and Cam fighting over the game. She looked at me confused and knew something wasn't right.

Come on, lets go to the room and talk.

I don't feel like it. I kind of said it in a rude way but i mean, I just wasn't feeling it.

I didn't give you an option. She held out her hand and stood there till i took it. We walked to the back room and and sat down on the bed.

Ok. I'm listening. No distractions. I sighed.

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Man.. i never knew you felt like that

Because everyone always assumes I'm okay and when I'm in a bad mood it automatically means I'm being rude when as fans they should know people have their days. And I don't mean to be rude it's just a lot sometimes.  

And I completely understand that, I do. When you're not feeling it we as fans shouldn't make a big deal about it.. Yano? We should try to make you happy instead of complaining over a simple picture.

 And I love them I do . Without them me, k, and Jake wouldn't be anywhere . So it just sucks when they say I act "too good" or that "I don't care" when I do.

Myles baby you don't have to feel bad because of your mood , like if you're having a bad day don't feel bad about that. Tell them yano? I do that too. I just try to distance myself from everyone until they just eventually leave and I know it's not good but it works for me. But that's me, I'm not "well known" like you are so people don't care. It's like you have to be positive all the time and set a good example and have this crystal clean record but as soon as you mess up you're now all of a sudden a bad person. 

I didn't even say anything after that. I got up and walked out. I was just kind of upset that i didnt want her to see me almost cry. I sat back down on the couch watching the boys play to calm down. They were getting quite annoying so i went back to the room with y/n

 Hey.. Do you mind if I uh- lay with you tonight? I walked to the side of the bed and stood there till she said yes.

Yes. She smiled and i snugged next to her but  faced away from her.

I didn't say thank you for today and for a couple minutes ago  

Myles you don't have to thank me, it's what I'm here for and I love you so I'll do anything to make you feel better and see your smile. He rolled over so now we were face to face. I turned so that im facing her and she had really beautiful eyes.

 I really love brown eyes. Man her smile was so beautiful. She smiled and said Thank you. She turned away and i scooted next to her. I took the longest road and kissed her neck and wrapped my arms around her. She was just so beautiful, it was hard not to get close to her. 

You're my right hand... You're my go-to. And just like that I was out like an old light bulb. 

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I woke up to being in the bed myself. I checked my phone and it was 5:00. I walked out and looked around. Kalin and Cam were still playing 2K and y/n was sitting at the little table looking out the window. It was raining and the mood was just set for a jam session.

Is anyone up for a jam sess? Everyone said yes so i went behind y/n grabbed my guitar, and started to sting Stitches by Shawn. Kalin started singing the lyrics and Cam went to get his camera to video for the KAM CAM. Y/n looked like she was about to cry but played off the "i'm okay" face well. We arrive at 5:45 but me, k, and Jake didn't have time to check into the hotel and put stuff away. We dropped off Y/n and Cam at the hotel and they checked everything in.

K: So.. you and y/n??

I don't know, good friends i suppose. I mean we were. Kinda?

K: Hmm, So you cuddle with all your good friends?

Kalin, shut up. He started laughing. We were 10 minutes from the venue so we arrived pretty quickly. We walked in through the back and hurried to sound check since we only have an hour till m/g starts. Y/n and Cam came back and went backstage. They told us we had to get m/g started so that we could start the concert on time. We changed shirts backstage and left with Cam to the meet and greet area. 

The show started and we played Reverse first then Bassline. Y/n was in the backstage pit area rockin with us and she looked happy. She was jumping and waving her hands in the air singing along with us. 

 And I ain't talking about cartoons, but you know I'm drawn to you, yeah

Love doesn't work by itself

It's like chains, it needs two

And I'm not just rapping

If I could write down every thought in my heart, yeah

I could show you that's how it happens

Got me up all night, cupcakin

Random discussion about who knows what love is

Yeah, I got ideas, but that's all just because it's from you

And how you make me feel

Like nothing else matters

And for a moment it's like time stands still  

As the show progressed she wasn't there anymore. I assumed she got kinda tired and went backstage to rest so i didn't think much of it so we continued to rock it out. When the show ended we all went backstage to get ready to go. I didnt see y/n and no one knew she left. We grabbed all our stuff and headed back to the hotel. Everyone quickly headed to the rooms found nothing but a note on the bed;

So.. I guess this is it huh? I just want to say im sorry for leaving early from the show, i didn't faint this time and im sorry for not telling anyone. Im really thankful for you guys and bringing me here everything. You guys are truly amazing and kind hearted. Myles, you know im always gonna be here for you and you know you can always come to me.. I have mad feelings for you but i was so scared to tell you since im just a fan to you. The way you smile and the how you mumble certain words because you're trying to talk fast. And how you laugh and like idk. I just want you to be happy. I changed my flight to be earlier so by the time you get this ill already be be back home. Baby boy i love you alot and i hope you find a girl who makes you the happiest you've ever been.

xoxo- your fav y/n

I read it and dashed out of the room. I'm mad. How could she just leave like that? Was it my fault? Did i make her feel like she wasn't important? I liked her a lot. But i guess her mind is all made up now isn't it? She's just going t leave like its nothing. There's no point in even going after her because her lane already departed. Was i not good enough for her? So many thought rolled through my mind and i knew i should've asked her what was wrong earlier. Im such an idiot. How can i have feelings for her when i barely met her 2-3 days ago.. But i guess she's right, we're on different schedules and it guess it wouldn't have worked but that doesn't mean we couldn't have tried. I dont want anyone else but her.