(Emily's POV)
I woke up to this bright light and a smashing headache. Everything focused and I saw Reid sitting in the corner by a curtain reading a book he's probably already read and memorized. I looked around noticing I was probably in the E.R because nearly two inches from my bed were curtains on both sides plus I heard a lot of commotion behind them.
Reid glanced up and saw me looking around and rushed to my side like he was never going to see me again.
"You scared the shit out me." he said catching me by surprise, he never cursed. I grabbed his hand and squeezed.
"I know, I'm sorry." I whispered and a tear slid down his cheeks.
"I'm sick of crying, I thought I was done with it but things keep happening." he looked down letting the tears fall on my sheets.
"I know. Where's Derek?" I asked and he immediately tensed up. "No! Spencer, answer me. Where's Derek?"
"Emily he's alive it's just..." he couldn't seem to put it in the right words and I grew inpatient.
"Just what, Spencer?" I pushed.
"He's in a coma." I heard a stern sad voice and I looked up to see Hotch. I knew I was still mad at him but I was sick of it. All the awkwardness and the crying, I was done. I sat up and started getting out of bed.
"Emily, you need to stay in bed." Hotch warned but then a nurse came in and greeted me with a smile.
"Actually you're free to go, you have concussion so don't do too much physical activity but other than that you are good to go." she said and turned off my machine. I got up and walked up to Hotch. He obviously didn't expect me to stop in front of him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed, he was tense before he relaxed a little bit and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed. "I'm done being mad, it's exhausting and I'm pretty sure it's why we're in the hospital again."
I pulled away and he looked down at me shocked, "Emily, I'm really sorry." I nodded and looked down.
"I know, I just need more time but I needed you to know that I'm trying." he nodded and that's when his words earlier actually dawned on me.
"Derek..." I whispered and he looked up, "Where is he?" I asked and he walked out of the room so I could follow. Reid stayed behind for a few seconds I'm guessing because we had to stop the elevator doors from closing for him to catch up.
He was quiet and looking down, fidgeting with his fingers. I couldn't focus on him though, all I could think of was Derek and losing him again. That couldn't happen, I just got him back.
The elevator opened and I followed Hotch down the hallway to his room. Dave was sitting outside of the room and stood up when they came up to him. Hotch pointed to the room and I ran in startling JJ who was curled up in one of the chairs next to the bed.
"You're awake." she took a breath of relief and stood. I walked but stopped at the foot of his bed, he looked so peaceful.
"Yeah, and he's not. Again."I whispered and she looked down, I knew she felt awful. I stepped forward and touched her shoulder, "Jayje."
She almost flinched but she looked up and tears filled her eyes at my nickname for her, "I'm trying. I'm gonna try to get past it but I just need time. I need you to know that I forgive you though." tears spilled over and she pulled me into a tight hug.
"Thank you." she whispered and pulled away. She glanced at Derek than back at me, "I'll let you two be alone." I gave her a sad smile and she left the room, closing the door behind her.
For a moment I just stood there looking at him, after a few seconds I pulled the chair closer to Derek's bed. "Derek... Please wake up. I can't lose you again. I just got you back and I've literally shut you out. I kept thinking that shutting you out would help me from getting hurt in the future but the reality is that it's just hurting me more and if you don't wake up..."
I choked on my words and couldn't finish, "I won't lose you. You have to wake up for me, I need you. I need you so bad. I love you so much, please please wake up." I pleaded but of course nothing happened. I just heard the consistent beeping from his machine and the quiet breaths that escaped his mouth.
I took his hand and rested my head on the side of his bed. I closed my eyes wishing that if I didn't see it, it would mean that it wasn't there. That it wasn't happening but that's not how it works. Instead all I could do was disappear into sleep for a few hours to hide from reality.
