Chapter One

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She tried to ignore the horid memories and flashbacks pushing at the edge of her brain as she stared through her mask at the long brown bag dangling before her. She lifted her bandaged fists and sent them over and over again untill the bandages were so badly worn that her knuckles started to bleed once again. In a matter of seconds her mind wasn't focused on the punching bag before her, it brought her back to that awful awful day...

The music was blasting through her speakers as she danced around her kitchen waiting for her dinner to heat up. She danced and sung without a care until she saw her phone light up with Derek's face on the screen. She smiled and turned down the music, she picked up the phone and put it to her ear. "Hey Derek." she said as she heard the microwave bing. She walked over taking out her food only to burn her finger on the hot plate. "Derek? You there?" she asked running her finger in cold water.

"Emily..." a pained voice answered on the other line. Emily creesed her eyebrows totally confused.

"Derek are you okay?" she asked suddenly worried of what could be wrong. There was a long pause, that felt like hours for Emily as she silently waited for his reply.

"I need to tell you something..."Derek took a deep breath, "I might never get the chance now... Emily I'm in love with you and I wish I had manned up and said something but I didn't and now there's nothing I can do." Emily was at a loss for words, she had always wanted to hear those word from him but not like this, not when there was obviously something so terribly wrong.

"Derek? Where are you? Are you okay?" she finally asked after a long pause.

"Get out of your apartment he knows where you live." is all he said before she heard a thud and his groan before the line went disconnected and there was silence.

She was awaken from her thought from a touch on her shoulder immediately getting her attention. She thought some was attacking her and before she could stop her self she elbowed her boss in the gut without turning around. She went for a second blow but heard the familiar voice groan. She turned around putting her hands over her mouth, "Don't do that!" she said under her hand. This came a shock to Hotch, he hadn't heard Emily's voice in months since Derek died. He couldn't focus on the thought for long because of the pain in his gut. He was bent over clutching his stomach.

"Sorry..." he said breathlessly trying to look up, "Just wanted to let you know that we have a case." he said finding the ability to speak and stnd up all the way. Emily nodded and grabbed her towel on the bench, whipping the sweat that caked her skin. She was in her sports bra and yoga pants, she grabbed her water bottle and started to chug the last of it before turning back to Hotch who was staring at her sharply. She walked passed him quickly avoiding eye contact and headed to the locker room to change.

She slipped her shirt on only to rub the scar she had gotten that day bring back a horid memory once again. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes tight trying to stop the flashback from coming but she had not control. It overcame her...

She frantically grabbed her gun and keys on her way out the door as she started to dial Hotch's number. It rung a couple of times before he answered and by that time she was already started her car to make her way to Derek's apartment. "Hotchner." he finally answered as she turned off her street.

"Hotch! Derek's in trouble!" she yelled through speaker.

"What?" How do you know!?" he yelled back.

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