VALERIE

Ten

His eyes glued onto the ceiling he couldn't fall asleep, he didn't even make the attempt to look for Valerie.

For all he knew she could be hurt.

Shaking the thought he shut his eyes again, but could only see her running away from him.

"Fuck." Nick murmured as he sat up in his bed, reaching for his phone on the nightstand he unhooked it from the charger and unlocked it.

Dialing the number he put the phone up to his ear and waited for someone to answer after the 8th ring someone picked up.

"What?" Valerie's voice echoed through the phones speaker,

"Fuck where are you?"

"At home but why do you care? You didn't even bother to look for me."

"I'm sorry." Nick said with actual remorse, he felt strange giving a genuine apology to a girl like Valerie, he felt like he left an innocent child to fend for themselves.

"Whatever."

"Valerie wait, I fucked up, I'm so sorry for calling you stupid."

He could hear her sigh on the other line, "You know, I've never had a real friend before, everyone I've ever been friends with leaves."

"I didn't leave Valerie, you ran from me and I don't know why I'm going to say this to you but I have abandonment issues."

The words surprised him, abandonment issues.

He never admitted it until now, because it wasn't until today that he realized that was what his problem was.

He didn't know how to handle situations when people left him, he just didn't.

"Nick, don't worry about it, you're talking to a girl who's bipolar."

Nick smiled a little when he heard her small chuckle, "Friends?" He asked laying back down on his bed,

"Friends." She responded, a small smile on her face.

"Hey before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why does everyone treat you like a kid?"

Gripping onto her bed sheets Valerie chuckled, she was obviously upset but couldn't process her emotion so she just laughed which confused Nick.

"I don't know, I'm crazy? My mom makes everyone watch me, I'm not even allowed to use a knife, the chef at my house pre-cuts all my meats."

"Sucks doesn't it?" Nick placed his arm behind his head, a sense of tranquility washing over him because of the nice conversation.

"Now I have a question for you."

"Go for it."

"Why are you so sad?"

Clenching his jaw Nick's eyes immediately looked over at his nightstand where the picture of his mother sat. It was covered by the darkness but he could vividly remember her.

"Hey Valerie, I've got to go, I'm super tired and we have school in like 3 hours."

"Okay, it's fine just promise we'll hang out tomorrow?"

"Promise." Nick said reassuringly,

"Okay, goodnight Nick."

"Goodnight Valerie."

Putting the phone down on his chest he shut his eyes as a million of thoughts and questions ran through his mind all at once.

Why was his mind so dark? Why did he mentally torture himself? Why does he hate himself? But most importantly why can't he forget his mother? Why is he so determined to see her again?

He couldn't understand it.

All he knew is that he needed to see her again, to get some closure before he self destructs, because Nick is a ticking time bomb and he doesn't know when he'd go off.