The Look Of Knowledge

23. We Don't Talk About It

September 11th, 2005.

Mika

"Guys, there's no food in here!" Nick yelled going through Rich and Albert's kitchen as the rest of us were hanging out in the living room.

"Should we get some pizza?" Julian suggested while eating a bag of chips and sitting on the table.

"I saw a pizza place in the left corner of the block" Fab said.

"Yeah, and there's another one next to it, like, around the corner" said Rich as he sat next to Albert and Niko watching a Knicks game.

"Who puts a pizza place next to another pizza place?" Nick said stepping out of the kitchen.

"Fucking Italians" Albert commented without taking his eyes off the TV. I knew nobody was gonna move so I offered myself to go get the pizzas.

"I'll go" I said standing up and taking Rich's keys. Fab cheered for my willpower.

"I'll go with you, it's so dark" Julian said putting on his jacket and earning a look from Albert.

I knew what that was about. Julian obviously still liked me but he blew it by ditching me that time at my house when we hooked up. He just left and never called me again. I was so sad, because I never pictured him like one of those guys who, you know, do that kind of things.

But however, I started hanging out with his friends and he was there. So we became friends without ever talking about our little fling again. Still I noticed the way Julian looked at me and Rich when we started dating, he was jealous. It was really confusing 'cause he's the one who shut me off, but he was a good friend and we left that bad patch behind us.

"Oh, okay" I said and opened the door, Julian following behind closed it as I called the elevator.

"Are you alright?" Julian asked as we waited.

"Yeah, why?" I asked emotionless.

"You know, it's 4 years today" he said. I did know that. It was on every paper, every channel, every mouth on the streets. I couldn't forget even if I wanted.

"I'm fine" I said as the elevator opened. In that exact moment I saw my reflection in the mirror and noticed what a bitch face I had on. "It's not worse for me than it is for everyone else who was in the city, Jules" I said using a softer tone as we got into the elevator.

"You say that, but..."

"He wasn't my dad, he was just a man who lived in the same house as me" The doors opened again and we got out. "I feared for everyone else's lives but his. I'm no different from you and all the people that didn't know anyone in The World Trade Center" I hated talking about that but I kept talking and walking as it was something irrelevant.

"Okay." He said as I opened up the door of the building. "Let's just talk about something else"

"Alright... Michael Jackson. Pedophile or not a pedophile?" I dropped.

"I love that guy, not a pedo at all" Julian said as we walked to the corner.

"Total pedo" I said.

"What?! He's a great guy!"

"I know. I love a lot of things about the man" I laughed. "But that doesn't take the fact that his head isn't right. His father abused him... I mean.. I think he has a lot of mental issues. Maybe he didn't rape those kids but that guy is... I have never seen nor heard of anyone like that guy." We walked into one of the pizza places and ordered three to go.

I liked spending time with Julian. Mostly because every time we talked I could sense the sight of a secret in the air, you know? Like we had this closeness I didn't have with anyone else.

"So, how's it going with Rich?" He asked pressing the 9th floor button.

"He asked me to move in with him" I said staring at the door of the elevator as it closed. Julian stared at me.

"Oh, shit.. wow.. that's pretty quick" he said scratching the back of his head. "Is Albert okay with that?"

"Yeah, sure, I think he is kinda happy to have someone who's going to clean and wash stuff" I joked earning a little chuckle from him as the doors opened.

"What about your mom?" Julian asked.

"Jules, she doesn't give a fuck" I said as I opened the door of the apartment.

"Oh my god I love you guys" Nick exclaimed jumping out of nowhere and coming to hug us. Then he took the pizzas we were carrying and put them on the table. "I've never been this hungry"

"Me neither" Rich said turning from the couch and looking at me. He smiled as he got up and walked up to me. "Wanna go to the roof?" He whispered to me as everyone else started to gather around the table. Including Julian who left my side as Rich approached me. I don't think they were very friendly at this point.

••••

I know the 14th anniversary of the 9/11 was four days ago but I wrote this chapter that day so it's kinda a tribute. Well not a tribute but it's something worth mentioning I think.

Xx :)