I Love You, Jerk Face

Chapter 44

                I wanted that life.  I wanted Grady in any life.

                Again my head snapped to the side, the clock staring back at me mockingly. He’s gone. The bed creaked as I stood, not bothering to shuck the blankets as I started for the door.

                I’m an idiot! Huge understatement if there ever was one. How could I let him go? Cars whizzed past me. I picked up my phone for the fifth time since leaving the house, my fingers already moving to call Bub and tell him to stop the car, but he would not answer.

                “ANSWER YOUR PHONE!” the yelling did nothing but make me feel a tiny bit better.

                I pressed harder on the accelerator, the jeep roaring loudly as I slipped in and out of the lanes. Lights came from behind me. Really!? A freaking cop.

                You know those movies where all the girl has to do is cry to the officer about how she is trying to catch up with the man of her dreams and the nice cop lets her go? Yea, so not true. All I got was, “Ma’am please stop crying and hand me your license.”

                Ass.

                Another common misconception, you cannot just walk in anywhere you want. Dorm rooms included.

                “You don’t understand,” I leaned heavily on the counter. “I really need to get up to room 306.”

                “I’m sorry, but I cannot let you up there hon,” yea, he looked really sorry.

                “You really don’t understand,” I tried again, but he just shook his head.

                “Sorry.”

                “Haven’t you ever been in love?!” he just stared at me and then down at his wedding ring pointedly. “Then you should understand,” he sighed. “I need to get up to his room before he does.”

                “Why is that again?” he looked bored as hell.

                “I have to tell him that I love him,” this is exasperating. 

“Shouldn’t he already know that?” he raised a graying eyebrow at me.

“I wouldn’t tell him,” I grumbled.

“But you want to tell him now?”

“Yes!” my hands hit the counter lightly.

“Why didn’t you just tell him before?” stupid questions.

“I was scared,” it was honest. “He’s amazing,” I sighed. “I’m just his best friend’s little sister.”

“So…he’s not in love with you?”

“No he is,” I smiled broadly.

“Then why are you here again?” he scratched his head lightly.

“We broke up two months ago and they have been the worst two months of my entire life.”

“Why did you break up?” I glared at him. Seriously more questions?

“I wouldn’t say I loved him.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t we already go over this?” I pulled at my hair, the tangles reminding me that I probably looked like a loon. “I was too scared.”