Touch

Chapter 39

I couldn't wait to become his wife and start a family . I grab his hand as we drive down the road to the airport to Vegas. A quickie wedding was all we wanted nothing formal or long drawn out.   The light comes in from passing headlights through the window.   He turns to me and smiles. He what I've been waiting for since I was little my Prince Charming. I could put school on hold and just build a life with him and .... Oh my god school ! Wait ! I can't do this right now what the hell am I thinking ?

I look at him again and he gives me a smile then it slowly fades away when I don't reciprocate it. He's on to me. Crap make something up to get out of this. Without sounding like I am bailing again. But I am bailing again !

Shannon " what's wrong ?" Me " we can't get married right now . I'm so sorry, but I have school , it's my priority I'm so sorry Shannon please understand ". He grips the steering wheel and I can tell he's fuming mad. Yet he stays silent. I hate silent mad. It's scary and unpredictable.

Me " say something please don't ignore me ". He pulled over in an empty parking lot and turned off the engine. Still no words. He looks out the window and I say again " Shannon speak, say something ! I'm sorry I did this to you . I swear , I didn't mean to hurt you ". Shannon stays silent and grabs a switch on his car door and looks to me and finally speaks. Shannon " get the fuck out of my car , and walk your ass home ". I swear I just heard him say walk home ?   Me" repeat that?"

He grabs my door handle and pulls on it and said " GET OUT!"    I feel heartbroken , but I know he's mad so how could I blame him.  But to kick me out of your car and such ? That I wasn't ok with.  

I slap his arm and then vocalize how I feel.  Me" this is really low of you to do this ! we are on a side of a freeway and your making me walk home ? How cold Shannon , how God damn cold are you ?"     Shannon " I'm sick of your back and forth games bullshit , I'm sorry can you blame me ? Seriously ? Can you ? We are on our way to get married and you pull this non commitment thing yet once again. You can't stay with one person . You like the attention and well I'm done with it. I'm done with you, find another way home. I'm moving back to where I used to live. This Is goodbye for good.  I'm done !"    I step out of the car and close the door and watch him speed away. 

My heart breaks in two painful pieces and I wish that I never met him.  I hurt him and Jared and Robert.  Not so much Robert , we got close , but never to the next level.  Oh who am I kidding ? I was being a bitch. Maybe in a weird way I knew I deserved to be alone like I am now. My games caught up to me and in the end , I lost.

I suck up my tears and begin my long walk home. Not having my debit cards or cash. Well at least it's a clear night. That's a plus.

Half hour in , I'm tired , my feet are sore and I'm hungry. Still , I push it all aside and continue on.

I sit and reluctant to take a break as i see a park ahead of me. The quietness of the grounds around me is soothing to my troubled mind.  I can hear couples near by . I try and ignore it.  The sweet talking , kissing and snuggling happiness.  It's not what I wanna deal with after being dumped , well kinda dumped. 

I grab a seat on the bench by the fountain. And off in the near distance I hear camera shutter sounds. Who would be doing night time pictures ?

Curious , I get up and walk closer to the sound and to my joy and happiness it's Robert ! Wow imagine that? How fortuitous ! 

Me " hey ! How are you ?"    He smiles and said " I'm good just taking some still night shots for a project , I'm working on . And what are you doing here so late ? ".    Should I tell him?

Me" well , I was on my way to get hitched and I backed out , again ".   He laughed and then said " I'm sorry but you gotta admit , you run from comitment ". I folded my arms and said with a huff "I certainly do not ! I just put school before love ".    He set his camera down and came over to me.  

He was inches away from my body and I took deep inhale of his scent , oh yea , he still smelled damn good as ever.  Damn! 

Robert " do you need me to take you home? I don't mind at all".   Me" you sure ? I can walk".   He grabbed my hand and pulled it between his hands and said " yea ok , like I'm gonna let that happen, don't be crazy ".   He didn't let go of my hand and we walked back to his car.  I was impressed it was a sexy car yet very hippie like inside , very chill like his personality. 

Robert " how about we go eat I bet your hungry ? Am I right ?  ".   I smile and say " I am but I can wait till ....."   Robert " yea yea till you get home right?  Sorry babe, I'm over riding your decision  taking you to my place make you dinner how a gentlemen should do ".   Me " my oh my , well sir, I shall take your invite then , you sweet soul ".   He laughed and then grabbed my hand lacing up our fingers together then he continued driving to his humble abode .   I couldn't wait for some home cooked food and to get to know him better.  As a friend , yea a friend , right ? Or more ?