Consorting Jordan

Chapter 9: Marcescent

"Thanks Jordan." His head lifted and he made eye contact with me, his overly shaggy hair lightly brushing his eyelashes. "You further proved my mother's theories wrong. You're worse than even she could have predicted." I had lost my appetite. I didn't want to eat anymore, or at least not near him for a while.

"This is about more than us." He made it seem as if it was painful to even utter those words.

"You keep saying that. But all it ever adds up to in my ears is 'I don't want you. I will never. I'm stringing you along Korali. Cant you see that? There's no point for you to keep trying to make this work? You will live your life in misery anyway'." A this point I was pointing my index finger at him. Dangerously close to touching him.

"You're being unreasonable, Korali." He was still sitting at the table like good looking, stupid, rock.

"No you're being unreasonable. Compromise is all I'm asking for. That or letting me go."

"You're being selfish." My mouth dropped open. Was he serious?

"No you are." I lifted my hand on my head and rolled my eyes. "I can find a human that will love me. I'll probably never love them and they could never love me as strongly as you possibly could. But they'd love me. Or give me children, you choose."

"Are you trying to give me an ultimatum? It doesn't matter. I'd rip him apart limb from limb before I let him touch you." He said through gritted teeth and I was just as frustrated.

"See, what is that? Why?" I asked genuinely confused. "Do you want me to be as miserable as you're making yourself?" I stood up from the table and walked away. It was my only option. This conversation was a one way and it didn't make sense nor did it matter really. He was still as much of a dick as always.

***

Kaliko had called me about an hour after Jordan and I's argument of the day and to be honest I just really needed some comfort that was from home; I needed my best friend. She said that she's been calling and trying to gain access into the pack for about three weeks now but she couldn't gain clearance-which really meant Jordan wasn't allowing her in.

She also asked me did I want to come to a party her family was throwing. I absolutely loved Kaliko's family as my own. Being inseparable as children came with that type of bond with other family members.

I was so angered to the point where I wanted to fucking hit Jordan, try to beat some sense into his head and make him see that I wasn't suppose to be his prisoner, I was meant to be his lover, supporter, his friend. That he could trust me. But something had turned him into an impenetrable fortress of cold.

I noticed it with every look he gave me, many people in books and in real life always said they could see things in people's eyes, like their true emotions; but when I looked at Jordan I saw nothing. His green eyes, despite their beautiful color, didn't show a hint of warmth. It was like looking into emptiness-only eyes. Even when his wolf took over the only emotion I saw with them was lust or anger, never in-between, never any sentiments of tenderness, ardor, desire-but not sex desire, I meant desire as in the want to be with me.

I crawled through my window outside and hopped to the ground. I drifted to my willow tree; my only true comfort and sat on it thinking when it started to rain. The sky opened up and as much as I wished it would swallow me whole, it just let out a vicious howl of thunder and its tears tried to drown me.

The ground was quickly deluging and the puddles were forming as the precipitation came down fast and hard. But I didn't move. I didn't want to be in that house with him, I didn't want to be anywhere really. I just wanted to be in this tree, in the rain, letting the actual water drown me in my sorrows theoretically.