Eye See

Chapter 16: Father and son

Shakil's POV

I've never felt like this before but once stepping out of the bus, I actually felt like speaking and seeing my mother. I didn't care if she wanted to rant or yell at me. I just wanted to see her and be with her. I don't know, don't ask, it's weird. As I'm walking home, I thought about Sapphire and the fact that she's blind. It should be hard just to enter in the freaking shower, for her. And the shower will forever be my favorite spot so just the fact that she has to physically prepare herself to walk in the shower is beyond me. "Shakil, everybody physically prepares themselves when they want to move.", I picture her saying some shit like that. I know, girl, but you blind. It ain't the same. You gotta, like, think before doing stuff. "Everyone thinks." Shut up, bitch. "I am not a bitch." Whatever. 

I climb up the pavement stairs and enter my house without unlocking anything. Strange 'cause momma always locks the door, all the doors, of this house. I step inside and there's no one.

- Momma?! I'm back from work! I scream out.

No response. She would've beat me up, if I ignored her. Instead I hear stumps going down the stairs. It's unfamiliar, it isn't my momma and it certainly ain't me. It's him. Her man. Whatever type of man he is!

- Your mom is not here for the moment.

I figured. I've never really seen "her man" face to face. He never saw me at all until now. I'm in no way a gay nigga but he ain't so good looking. I use to be like him but I glowed up. I don't see what my mom sees in him. He's ugly as hell.

- Where she at?

- The hospital. She uh... is very sick.

The hospital? How the hell?! The only day I actually wanted to spend some quality time with her is the day she's at a motherfucking hospital. I been warnin' her ass about yelling all the time but she took it too lightly and now look. Oh, she better recover. There's no way I'm staying with this nigga more than twenty-four hours. Momma coming back home to Shakil.

- Which hospital? Can I see her?

I'm a little annoyed, confused and mad that I have to stay with this bald headed lookin' piece of shit. But he the only one that can bring me answers for the moment. 

- At the local hospital, St-Justine Hospital. Do you want me to take you? I don't mind driving.

Don't try and act nice, it just makes you seem gay.

- Aight, let's go.

So now we in the car. I never thought that I'll be in a car with that man but here we are now. He's been talking to me ever since he compressed his foot on the break. I'm not listening to him talk. Half of the questions he's asking me, I don't even answer them. I just wanna know how'd my mom yell so bad for her ass to end in a hospital. What did this twisted son of a bitch do to my mother. That's the only thing on my mind right now. Even Sapphire and the Mexican guy are long gone.

- What happened to my mother?

- So now you expect me to answer your question? After all this time, I've been trying to get your attention?

- Yea 'cause I fucking asked you.

He almost missed the stop. He pressed on the breaks and my body went from comfortably seated in his car to I'm boutta crash through the rear view. This nigga a fucking grown ass man and I drive better than him. He almost killed both of us.

- Watch your language, kid.

- I'm not a kid. I drive, just like you. Better, even.

- She kept on complaining that her chest was hurting and that her migraines were getting worse.

- It's all your fault, nigga.

- Come again?

- You made her mad! 'N then she yelled at you 'n now she sick! Don't fuck with her feelings, I say angrily.

He calmly drove a whole street while smiling and giggling. It was at this moment that I was determined that the nigga was gay. Once the red light appeared, he pressed on the breaks and out of the blue, started to laugh so hard. We weren't laughing together, he was laughing at me. Why? Ion know! His laugh was the type of laugh that you'll make at a Katt Williams show because he pronounced  someone's name or something. You won't laugh because it's funny, you'll laugh because it's Katt Williams pronouncing it. 

- You think yelling at someone can bring you to the hospital?! Please, tell me you're joking! It must be a joke, man! You playing, right?! he laughs out.

I'm legit gon' punch him until he knocks out so I can take over the wheel and drive myself at St-Justine. Not only he's hideous but he takes my seriousness for a joke. I'll show you something to laugh at!

- That's what happens when she screams at me. She gets all sick and shit! All the time! This ain't no joke, man.

- Well if that happens, he says regaining his calm, then you must be one bad ass kid.

- Watch, your language, punk.

- I'm an adult. I speak the way I want to speak. You can't tell me what to do. By the way, what's your name? Your mom barely speaks about you.

- What's your name?

The green light came back on and he sped his way on the highway before traffic catches up to him. You cannot defeat traffic, superman, it'll always get back to you. Just slow down, we late regardless.

- I grew up in a household where talking back to your parents was practically against the law. The fact that you're able to speak to me like that with no shame is... wow, I'm impressed. You're nineteen, I'm thirty-nine. I asked you a question first, you answer me. End of discussion.

So she can tell him my age but not my name. That's shady.

- I'm Shakil.

- Nice to meet you, Shakil. I'm David and I'm currently dat-

- I know.

- Next time, let me finish. I hope you don't to your mother like that.

- How? I speak the way I speak.

- What do you mean how?  Probably no one ever told you this but you're very disrespectful. For no apparent reason. It's like you're just angry at someone, something, at the world, and I just don't know why!

- You can't tell me how I am. You're not even my father.

- Oh, yes I can! And I will. Everyone has the power to say something on someone. It's not always the nicest things and it's not always the truth either. Until you are mature and know who you truly are, you, Shakil, have the power to tell them who you are. You hear me?

- Barely. All that bullshit talk but you still ain't my father so nigga, you need to step back and focus on my momma. Not me. I don't care 'bout you, David.

- You see what you just said? It's called anger and hate for no apparent reason. If you've never met him, how would you know that I'm not your father? 'Cause you don't know who he is so how would you know if I'm your father or not? You're lacking a bit of common sense. Let that sink in.

- Sorry, I'm out of water.

- So I guess you'll never be able to float your boat.

- I'm done speaking with you.

- Me too.

The rest of the ride was done in a complete silence. It was so out of place that I mentally begged him to turn the radio on. So that at least I can try and forget everything he just told me and continue mentally killing him for the... twentieth time now. As soon as the traffic stopped, we were able to get back on the road and steadily drive our way to St-Justine. We did a couple more streets, searched for parking and then we were finally settled. 

- Say hi to your mother for me and that I love her. And remember what I told you.

Nigga, you know I won't do nun of them shits.