Alex & Me

Alex & Me Ch.8

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Alex & Me

　

　

Chapter 8

　

　

As soon as I reached the restroom I splashed my face with cold water. Once. Twice. Thrice. As if the water could take the pain with it. I'd just have to learn how to deal with it. And fast.

I had Spanish with Alex. Now.

I was dreading it.

How could I face him now ? When no one knew about my feelings they were a bit easier to ignore but now that Hayley knew it was like they had... substance. I couldn't deny them anymore. And I was so afraid he'd read them from my face and then start avoiding me to let me down easy rather than rejecting me outright. But no Alex wouldn't do that. He was too nice to be that rude.

As I kept thinking more and more about what had just happened, I couldn't understand my reaction. Why had I almost cried just now? And that too over a crush. I mean it was just a crush. Feeling bad after what happened? Sure. But actual tears? That was unexpected. I shook my head. Maybe I was losing my mind. The hormones driving me crazy. Yeah that would explain it.

Satisfied with that and the fact that I had a handle over myself, I left the restroom. In class Alex looked up when I entered and smiling, patted the seat next to him. I would do anything to see that smile.

What? No!

I mentally slapped myself and replaced the silly smile on my face with a friendly grin.

"Where'd you run off too?" Alex asked, " I didn't see you come back in."

"I got caught up with something," I lied hoping he wouldn't ask with what.

I hated lying. Probably because I always gave myself away somehow. He looked a bit preoccupied so he didn't catch on and for that I was grateful.

"So you're going out with Jessica? " I blurted before I could stop myself and then cringed on the inside. I didn't want to hear it.

He perked up, his eyes actually started shimmering. His gaze was intense as he looked between both my eyes.

"Yeah what do you think?"

What I thought didn't matter as he was obviously happy with the idea of dating her. But I couldn't say that now, could I? What kind of a best friend would I be?

"Well she seems nice and you look happy so I think you should date her."

His reaction was weird. His face actually fell though he tried to put some effort into smiling.

"You really think so?" he whispered.

I swallowed and then nodded slightly, giving him a tight smile. After that we settled into an awkward silence. I couldn't think of anything to say. The tension between us was so thick. Why wasn't he saying anything? What was he thinking? My questions went unanswered and so I resolved to do something about it.

Everything would be fine.

I'd make sure of it.

***

Three weeks have passed since then.

Alex and I were back to normal and I was glad. Everything was fine. Just like before. Except now Hayley knew. She didn't try to bring it up once. She probably realised that I needed some space to sort things out.