We don't need you anymore Mum...(BEING EDITED)

Chapter 19

I sat alone in the same park I'd sat in when I met Jordan, Joshua and Marcus. I wondered if they'd let me stay with them. They might, but they're mum wouldn't let me even look at there house.

Light splashes of rain hit the ground and I crawled under the slide for shelter. I'd figured out by now that mum was blaming me for all of this. When she hit me I was so shocked. She'd never hit me before. Shouted at me, grounded me, got angry with me yes but hit me? Never.

I didn't know what to do so had just walked away. I thought it best if maybe I  just let her get it out of her system and in a few hours or so she'd let me back into the family.

So here I was. Sat under a slide in a park without anyone in the world. Except Julie. But I couldn't go back. At least not without Ayden. I wondered what mum and him were doing. It seemed he was her perfect little boy now whereas I was nothing to do with her. A distant memory fading by the minute.

The rain was gettting heavier now and the slide was incredibly thin meaning I had to crouch up in to a tiny ball to stay completely dry.

 By the time it had stopped my joints had stiffened and it pained me to get out. I stretched my arms and legs hearing the painful cracks.

I started walking aimlessly not really knowing where I was going. Not that I had anywhere to go.

I sat on a swing not caring that my bum was now wet through.  A couple walked by looking at me oddly. No wonder, it was almost two in the morning and a twelve year old girl was sat in the park on a swing after it had been raining with her hair in knots and tears stains all down her face and muck covering most of her arms.

During the night I'd had to sleep on the ground like when I'd first run away. But it was much worse. The ground cut into my skin making it uncomfortable to do anything.  All the stones didn't help either. Moist seeped through my thin clothes from the rain. My warm coat had been left at Julie's.

I realized mum would probably be asleep now so I could sneak into  the house and she'd be pleased to see me. Hopefully all her anger would have disappeared by now.

I made my way back shivering madly. When I reached our flat I tried the door gently not wanting it to make a sound. Luckily, it opened silently. Inside it was a tip. There was litter covering the floor like a sea. I had to wade my way through. Nappies and dirty wipes cluttered most of the seats.

I sighed deeply. The t.v was still on from whatever mum had been watching before so I decided to turn it off for her. Inside the kitchen was more overflowing rubbish. A mountain of washing filled the sideboard and another heap of clothes sat outside the washer.

Next I ventured to my room. Except it didn't look like my room anymore. None of my things were in my room anymore. My bed gone, drawers, wardrobe, toys, pictures, books and all the rest of my stuff.

Instead there was mounds of Ayden's clothes and even more of mum's. In a black bag in the corner was all the pictures of me and Ayden, me and mum even the ones of all three of us.

Mum really must've wanted me gone for good. Out of her life forever. I started wondering whether me coming back here was such a good idea.

Maybe if I used some of the clothes I would have a soft bed. I positioned a couple of tops in a pillow shape and took some more for a cover. I looked upon my purple coloured walls with the odd drawing here and there. Me and mum were gunna make it like a drawing wall where I could draw whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it. It would've looked beautiful if we'd ever finished it.

I scrambled around the floor getting out of my home made bed. If I could just find a pencil of something.

I walked to the the kitchen and opened one of the drawers. I pulled out the black permanent marker and made my way back to my old room. On the wall I drew Mum in her highs heeled boots and her strappy vest top putting detail into her facial expression. I wanted her to be happy so I drew a huge smile on her face. She was smiling so much her eyes were wrinkling at the sides.