So Far Away ✔

015

. . .

DÍS

. . .

Many times, Dís had fantasized how it would feel to be held by Lord Elrond. She had feared that her heart would give out, or that she wouldn't be able to control herself and kiss him, but neither of these thoughts occurred to her when his warmth surrounded her and kept away all her insecurities and grief. It felt as if she was on a small island that wasn't part of her life, where every breath of the elf protected her like a fortress. She found a peace that was so overwhelming that she didn't even thought about fighting it; instead she surrendered to a sleep that promised her no violent men and dying loved ones.

She didn't remember her dream when she woke up, but her cheeks flushed as she realized how she had fallen asleep. Lord Elrond must have put her back in bed, for her head was resting on a pillow and blankets were covering her legs. The mattress however had dipped a little and when Dís looked aside, still feeling drowsy, she noticed that the elf king was still on her side.

"Did I — did I sleep long?" she asked, confused.

"At least six hours." He showed her a comforting smile, but all Dís could wonder was if he had been on her side all this time.

She sat up straight. The tiredness must have numbed her nervousness, for right know she felt just as nervous as right before Lord Elrond had embraced her.

"I had no nightmares." Since he had been right at her side, she believed he deserved to know that.

"I'm happy to hear that. Would you like anything to eat?"

Hastily, Dís shook her head. She wouldn't be able to eat anything anyway. Furthermore she didn't want him to leave; it felt like dark thoughts were still lying in wait for her, waiting for the moment the elf king turned his back towards her.

"Where is Arwen?" The silence was so nerve-racking that she started to ask questions in which answers she wasn't really interested.

"She is with the children. Do you want to see her?"

"Not necessarily," she said quickly. Her answer was so quick it made her blush. She was sure he couldn't wait to leave. Yet, she didn't want her children to see her this weak.

Lord Elrond studied her face. He didn't speak while he did so, and Dís didn't know where to look nor what to do. She felt helpless in this bed and she craved for a bit of fresh air.

"Can we — go outside?" she suggested hesitantly. She barely dared to ask more from him, but he had told her there were no other pressing matters and she chose to believe him.

"Of course. It's dark outside, so I will get you a robe."

The elf king walked away before she could answer. The moment he was out of sight, she laid her hands on her shoulders, right where he had held her. She craved for the remnants of his warmth, but it was long gone.

Dís was grateful for the cloak Lord Elrond had given to her. It obviously was too large, but it was warm and protected her from the cold. The stars were twinkling high above their heads as they descended a gravel path Dís had never been on before. Apparently, the palace had multiple entrances and this one wasn't accessible from the plaza.

The night air did her well. Dís felt a little less foggy , which made it easier to think clear.

"What should I do now?" she wondered out loud. She bit her lip. "I mean — I can't fall asleep in your arms every night."