My Own Way

Chapter 14

 
"Damn you." I said biting my lip looking away from him and restarting the car.

 
I heard him laugh so I looked at him.

 
"That look is definitely very easy to read." He said.

 
"Hum... easy to read, fun to think about and amazing to do." I said, smiling.

 
"Amen." He said making me laugh and he joined in.

This guy was definitely something…again, without me knowing, he had managed to make me forget, even if it was just for a little bit.  What surprised me more was, no sex.  We could think about it but for the first time, he made me forget without any sexual activity.

I left the parking lot and started our way towards the diner.

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The diner was a bit further down the road and my stomach was in knots again.

I kept repeating over and over in my head that it wasn’t certain that it was Jesse waiting for me at the diner.  I kept repeating it, hoping it would calm me down.

Most of the drive was done in silence.  We said a little bit here and there but I felt so nervous but Blake let me think and I was happy about that.  I tried to prepare myself mentally for the worst that way if it would happen I’d be prepared.  If it was good news…that would just be bonus.

 
When we reached the parking lot of the diner, I found a spot and parked my car.  I turned it off and just sat there, frozen.

 
"You okay?" Blake asked with his voice so soft, trying to calm me down.

 
I took a deep breath.  "I need a favor." I said to him.

 
"Anything."

 
"This is going to sound so bad and I'm sorry."  I said, when he didn't respond I looked at him and he nodded for me to continue.  "Don't sit with me." I said keeping eye contact and he looked confused.  "I know I told you what happened but... not everything and I'm not ready for you to know everything.  If it's Jesse in there, I don't know what he knows and..."

 
"You don't have to explain Amanda.  It's fine.  I'll sit close but not too close.  If you need me...look at me or just tell me.  We still don't know everything about each other, it's normal.  Whenever we feel ready, we’ll talk about it." He said.

 
"I thought you’d be angry with me." I said, being honest.

 
He took my hand in his and smiled a little.  "I'm not angry."

 
I grabbed the front of his shirt with my other hand and slowly brought him closer.  When his lips touched mine, I felt myself calm down inside.

 
I pulled away, "Thank you." I told him.

 
"I didn't do anything." He said.

 
"Yeah you did, you just don't know it." I said.

 
I took a deep breath and opened my car door letting go his hand and getting out while Blake did the same.

 
"Do we go in together or?" He asked.

 
I thought for a second, "Um...count to…I don’t know, ten?  Then come in." I answered, not knowing what to say but he nodded.

 
I walked to the diner's front door and went inside.  I saw Lucas looking at me and I got nervous again.

 
As my boss walked towards me and looking at me from head to toe, he said, "You must be feeling really sick…you look like crap."

 
"Thanks, every girl loves to hear that." I told him.