So Far Away ✔

014

"Oh!" she whined when the glass fell off the small side table and scattered to pieces on the floor.

Dís was close to tears. It felt like she was cursed.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, her eyes full of tears. "I must be the stupidest creature you've ever met."

Ashamed, she cast her glance down, knowing her words only made things worse. There was no doubt he agreed with her, and that was the last thing she wanted to hear from him.

"Don't be silly. You're sick, Dís. It's not your fault that your coordination doesn't function properly. I will get someone to clean it up. Would you like another glass of water?"

Quietly, Dís shook her head, although her throat felt dry and her lips shriveled.

An awkward silence fell. Skittishly she looked up to Lord Elrond, but he stared absently at the blankets. He must be disgusted with her, for he rather looked at a white blanket than at her.

"Would you mind if I'd sit here?" he asked when the silence threatened to swallow them. He laid his hand on the edge of her bed, close to her knees.

Dís looked at him in shock. No, she didn't want him that close! She was terrified that her heart would stop if he moved an inch closer!

"Y-yes," she stammered. Panic made her chest clench and her breathing increased. She could no longer think straight. She wanted him to leave, before she would do anything stupid again.

"Then I will stand," Elrond answered calmly, although he avoided her glance. "What exactly are you feeling? Are you in pain?"

Dís didn't know what to answer. She was sure he was the cause of almost all her complaints.

His voice made her feel weak, even the sound of his breathing did something to her. Her whole being longed to be held by him. Maybe it was a remedy for everything, but she was too scared to tell him how she felt and she doubted her heart would continue to beat.

"I'm tired," she said eventually.

"Do you sleep well?"

Dís cast her glance down. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd slept well. Actually, she was terrified to sleep; it caused her nightmares.

"No."

"Do you have nightmares?"

Dís was shocked by his question. Was she so easy to read? Skittishly she looked up. Did he believe she behaved like a child? After all, mothers were supposed to comfort their children when they were plagued by dark dreams, and not the other way around.

"You want to speak about them?"

Dís stared at her blankets. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I know it's hard," the elf king said quietly. "But talking about it might be the only way to deal with them."

He took a step forward. Dís heart was beating so frantically she was afraid that he would hear it. Her breathing faltered. Elrond most likely heard it, for he stood still.

"Do you fear me?"

She didn't know what to answer. She wasn't afraid of something he might do, but she did fear her own response to him.

Dís looked up to him. For a moment their eyes locked and even though Dís truly believed that her heart would soon jump out of her chest, she didn't want to look away. His eyes were so loving, as if he was looking at his own daughter.

His daughter.

Not a woman he longed for.

He would never give her what she needed and that knowledge banished all warmth from her body.