Changes are Cruel // Vikklan

Chapter 15

He was breaking. Vikk was breaking, and I did nothing. I went to reach for him, but I stopped myself. He had his head on the bed, crying with his shoulders rising fast. I just stared.

His black, matted hair indicated he hadn't left for a while. He was gasping sharply for breaths as he continued to sob. Flashes of the past kept blinking in my eyes as I stared at this crumbling form before me.

I reached for him again as I pondered grabbing him or not. "V-I'm sorry." I stuttered, not quite making understandable sentences, but at least I tried. He glanced up, his face full of agony. I saw his eyes glazed in tears with nothing but a dull tint within them. I, instead, stared at my lap in utter shame.

Who had I became? Was I so blind to not see the pain I have caused him? He wants to help me, yet I am killing him slowly with my selfish desires. I can't do this to him. Even if I want to die, I could never inflict the pain I ache from upon any other soul.

I jumped slightly as a hand was placed upon my thigh, warm against my cold skin. "It's okay. I'm not upset at you." He spoke softly in a kind whisper. I saw the tears still flow from his eyes as I stared into the pools of hazel I came to love.

Vikk, he was just a new student adopted by my former friends. He became my bully, my worst fear. I would hide from him, but he could search me out in any nook or craney. Now, look at us! Vikk is crying because of me, while I am falling so deeply in love with him.

"Are you sure? You have ever right to be upset with my selfish self." I hissed, mentally punching myself. I heard silence follow my words. It grew thick and heavy as I didn't dare look at him anymore. Instead, I insisted to stare blankly at my gown. "Don-Why do you down yourself so severely?"

His voice interrupted my thoughts. I closed my eyes tightly, fighting the rising tears and the gasp of pains in my throat. "I had everything, " I shuddered, sinking into the bed, "I had friends, I had the group you were in as my best mates. We laugh-laughed and hang out. I-I confessed my sexuality. It all crashed down. They rescued me, you know. My parents both died and I was to be took away, but I ran. I ra-ran with everything I had. I live alone. I take on this world a-alone. No one is there, mostly after being an idiot and telling them I'm gay. I never should, but I'm just stupid like that. Now, look at me! In a hospital because I cut myself too deep." My voice was loud as I started talking, slowly becoming quiet at the more words I said.

I broke, crying heavily and covering my face with shame. Pathetic. That is all I could claim myself as. Pathetic.

"I-" he began but stopped. I heard the uncomfortable silence again as I cried harder, shaking my head in my palms. My hands were soaked, along with my cheeks. I am miserable; a disappointment. I'm weak.

"I don't care who you like or what gender. If love is genuine, who are they to judge? It isn't their place, it doesn't abstruct their life, now does it? I don't care if your gay. Because, well, I am myself. I-" he stopped as he began to caress my cheek slowly. "I love you. I wanted you from the start. I was pressured. Only when I saw the beatings you received and you were unfazed afterwards, did I finally realize you are so strong. I look up to you. I..I love you, Lachlan." I felt his warmth as he stood and hovered over me, looking down into my eyes.

His eyes roamed from my eyes to my mouth, back to my eyes. "Will you be mine?" He whispered. My eyes were lidded as I stared in shock. Did Vikk just ask that? The bully, the one who caused me such misery, asking me to be his? "Yes." I said, winded by my pounding heart.

That is when my world stopped as our lips met. We were the center of attention as the world seized to move around us. Sparks flew and fireworks fled. His lips against mine were so soft , fitting so perfectly like puzzle pieces. Bliss. That's all that could describe the feeling fluttering in my body. Complete bliss.

Vikk, he was mine. Never, never did I believe in such a dream. Am I asleep? Surely not if I'm here now, kissing him. It could be a vivid one..If so, I hope to never wake up.