Natikom ang bibig niya. Lumambot na naman ang expression ni Elvis, parang nagpapaawang kuting kung tingnan ako.
I sighed as a clear sign of giving up. Raising my hands in surrender. "Fine! I'll tell you." I took my time to inhale and gather my thoughts.
"I'm just so tired of living our poor life, Elvis. Ayokong manatili sa isang lugar at sa mga taong walang magandang hangad sa'kin. I'm not as genius as you are—I earned my knowledge at school. Maganda ako pero hindi ako boba. At kahit kailan, hindi ko pinangarap na maging gano'n. Si Mama... I don't feel her at all. Hindi ko feel na proud siya sa ginagawa ko, na sinusubukan ko kahit papaano—kahit gaano kahirap ang buhay namin. So I decided that maybe we should separate our ways for now. Kasi nakakapagod... pagod na sa pag-aaral, pagod pa sa bahay."
For the first time, wala akong narinig na sinabi ni Elvis na against sa'kin at sa desisyon ko. I thought he might judge me again and scold me to go home and fix everything with my parents.
This time, he just nodded and told me sincerely, that as a friend, he will be supporting me.
Elvis gave me a small smile when he suddenly sniffed. "Anong amoy yon?" kunot ang mga noo niya.
I sniffed too, and that's when I realized na sinukahan nga pala ako ng tarantado niyang kapatid!
"It was your brother's vomit, by the way," I said sarcastically, kaya naman tama lang na malaki ang singilin ko sa kan'ya.
"I'm really sorry for that. Ipaghahanda kita ng pamalit. Dun ka na muna sa kwarto ko maligo." parang nag init yata ang pisngi ko.
Hindi ba kami pag iisipan ng masama kapag duon ako naglinis ng katawan? Pero ayoko namang magtagal pa sa damit ko ang suka ni Elias, baka mag iwan ng mantsa!
Dibale na, saglit lang naman. Tumango ako at sumabay sa kanya sa paglalakad patungong kwarto. He just asked me to wait, so all I did was watch him until he had everything prepared—my bath, clothes, towel, and even a robe.
I closed my eyes, letting my body feel the warmth of the water as if it were cleansing every dark energy in me. Bihira akong makapaligo sa mainit na tubig. I didn't know it could be this relaxing and comfortable.
Comfortable… exactly what I crave in my life now.
Peace, stability, and a quiet mind.
Gusto ko ng payapang buhay.
Malayo sa hirap at diskriminasyon. Malayo sa kinalakihan ko.
I tiredly closed my eyes. Kontrolado at kasing bagal ng isang mahinahong tupa ang bawat paghinga ko. That day was my first day of becoming that little, young girl in her cute uniform.
A small smile tugged at my lips as I pictured my younger self in her pigtails that is neatly tied with my favorite lily-flower hair ties.
Nasanay na ako sa mga papuri kahit noong bata pa lang ako. They always called me the cutest doll. Hindi lang ’yon; bata pa lang, ‘Lily’ na ang bansag sa’kin ng mga classmates at teachers ko. It felt heartwarming. I call it one of the sweetest moments in my life when I became the most favorite.
Until the time came when I, too, had a favorite person.
Ang bata ko pa, at natural lang na magkagusto. It was natural back then to fall quickly for the first boy who gave me butterflies every time I caught even the smallest glimpse of him.
That boy was a transferee student, bagong lipat malapit sa school namin.
Nang una siyang pumasok sa classroom, standing in front of everyone, his eyes landed on mine first. And I swear, I saw the way his eyes sparkled.
Namula agad ako, I even averted my gaze. Napansin iyon ng mga kaklase namin ultimo ng aming adviser, they teased us. I thought he’d be embarrassed just as much as I was, pero hindi.
He just stared at me, steady and soft. Hindiing- hindi ko makakalimutan ang unang gift na ibinigay niya sa’kin. That smile… the most precious gift.
I was used to smiles, but that first one was the only one I truly considered a gift. I cherished it so much that, for a moment, I truly believed… I fell in love.
We became best friends all through grade school, and by high school, we were inseparable. We were just friends… until the day I decided to confess—the same day, he broke my heart.
Ethan rejected me. I thought that was hard enough to bear.
Until he exclaimed his reasons.
“Bakit ako pa, Prescilla? Gusto mo rin ba akong huthutan dahil mayaman ako? Kaya ba nagtiis ka maging kaibigan ko dahil ang totoong intensyon mo ay akitin ako ng ganito?!”
I was dumbfounded. Perplexed, even.
Hindi ko matanggap na ganun niya ako tingnan... na parang mas masahol pa ako sa basura.
Akala ko matatanggap niya ako nang walang subalit, ang sitwasyon ng buhay ko.
Turns out, he was just as judgmental and ill-mannered as the rich kids I grew up with.
Kung alam ko lang na isusumbat niya sa’kin bawat regalong ibinigay niya, hindi ko na sana tinanggap ang mga iyon. I even cherished those gifts and put them in my treasure box.
Hanggang ngayon, nakatago pa rin ang mga iyon sa safe na ako at siya lang ang nakakaalam. Because I promised myself, that if we ever meet again by any chance, I want to return it all to him. Gusto kong ipamukha sa kanya na mali siya sa pagkakakilala sa’kin, at sinayang niya ang taon naming pagkakaibigan para sa wala.
Chapter 15
Start from the beginning
