Strings of Solace

Chapter 11

After our date ended, Stephen drove me home, insisting on walking me to my door, saying that one never knew what could happen. Luckily, my parents weren't home as per usual. It would have been hard to explain why I still lived with them, especially considering my age.

Truth be told, I often wondered the same, but there was just never a reason to leave. It didn't help that the only reason they would accept my moving from a place I got to live in for free was getting married.

"I'll see you soon?" Stephen asked, snapping me out of my spiraling thoughts.

"Yes, text me, and we'll work something out," I said distractedly as I looked around, hoping my parents wouldn't suddenly appear.

"Yeah, and in the meantime, I have an engagement ring to buy," Stephen said jokingly as he walked towards his car. "See you soon."

"See you," I replied, happy he didn't linger.

I knew he would have to meet my parents before we got married, but I felt like we needed some preparation before I sprang that ordeal on him. They could be too much, to put it mildly.

As I rummaged through my purse for my keys, I felt relieved that at least whatever connection we used to have, whatever friendship blossomed between us when we were younger, was still there. It made everything so much easier.

Once inside the empty house, a cold that had nothing to do with the temperature swept over my heart. When others talked about their home, they talked about the warmth and safety that enveloped them the moment they stepped in, but for me, it was different. All I felt was a bone-deep chilliness.

Going to the kitchen to get some water, my eyes fell on the piece of paper stuck to the refrigerator, a common sight in my household, and not a positive one.

We went to the spa. We don't know when we will be back.

I pulled off the message, tearing it to pieces in anger that I couldn't explain even to myself. After all, this wasn't uncommon. Whenever we had some money, instead of saving it for a better house or something practical, my parents splurged. I guess the biggest downside was that instead of covering everyday expenses, they often took money from the shared budget for their vacations.

Some days, I wasn't even sure why I was mad. Was I angry because they wasted money on luxuries or because they left me home all alone with my thoughts, with my fears? They never even offered to take me with them, especially since it was our money, not only theirs. It was frustrating, to say the least.

After changing into more comfortable clothes and snuggling into my bed, into my haven, I started thinking that maybe the reason Stephen and I got on so well was because we both had absentee parents. We were both starving for attention, but weren't brave enough to admit it.

"Goodnight. Sweet dreams," Stephen sent a message followed by the cutest emoji of a sleeping bunny.

With tears in my eyes, I typed in the response, wiping away the moisture with my sleeve.

"Goodnight," I sent, followed by an emoji of a snoring dog.

After I put my phone down, I dried the tears that started tumbling out as their appearance made me grumble in annoyance because I hated being emotional. However, it had been such a long time since anyone had wished me a good night that I couldn't help it.

My parents and sister thought that 'cutesy' stuff was for the weak. I often wondered if they also thought the same about emotions, because I couldn't remember the last time I had received any affection from them, not even a genuine hug.

No matter how stupid my idea of marrying a guy who could have turned into a completely different person over the years was, just spending a few hours with him made me feel better than spending days with my family. Maybe it was the best way for me to leave this toxic environment without having to go through a confrontation, which I hated.